Co Parenting Tips from a Divorced Mother
Co parenting can be difficult. I like to stress that you should look at co parenting as a “business relationship”. Here are some proven co parenting tips that not only work great, but will help you to have a successful co parenting relationship.
Be flexible – Co Parenting Tips #1
Being flexible is vital in a co parenting relationship. One example, is if a parent is running late on the drop off day/time. Kids do not always cooperate. They may decide to go to the bathroom right as you are walking out the door. Kids may forget their favorite stuffed animal, homework or sports bags or pick a fight with a sibling. Another example of being flexible is when there is a family function with the other parent. If the day ends up on your placement day, try to work with the other parent so the kids can be a part of the family function. Children should not be stopped from spending time with their extended family. Not being flexible can cause gratuitous animosity and put a wrench in any positive co parenting you have already established.
Keep open communication -Co Parenting Tips #2
Another one of my co parenting tips is to keep the lines of communication open. Think about how your communication with the ex will affect the children. Keeping a calm, relaxed and even tone will help assure positive decisions will be made for your children. Co parenting should include sharing your child’s achievements that took place on your placement days. Inform your ex of any doctor appointments the kids had while in your care. Sharing positive performance, concerns and the needs of the kids can take away hostility you may feel towards each other and lighten the mood. The kids will respect you more and maybe even learn some communication skills of thier own.
Do NOT talk badly about the other parent in front of the kids – Co Parenting Tips #3
It is hard enough for the kids to be in the situation they are in. Do not make it harder by talking badly about their other parent. The kids view both parents as “role models” and you do not want your kids to have negative thinking towards you for talking bad about the other parent. Talking bad about your ex in front of the kids will have negative lasting affects on your children.
Do NOT ask the kids to take sides – Co Parenting Tips #4
Kids should never choose between you and the other parent. You may be asking the kids to choose sides with out even realizing it. Think before you speak in front of the kids. By saying anything negative about your ex, will make the kids feel like they have to take sides. They love you and the other parent, and do not need or deserve to be put in the middle. Remember that your kids emotional needs are more important than yours.
ALWAYS keep a positive attitude – Co Parenting Tips #5
Your children have been through a lot. They need their parents to have a positive attitude. This will give them increased self esteem, happiness, better health and motivation to get through the stresses of the divorce. Remember your kids learn from you, if you always have a positive attitude, your kids will try doing the same.
These five co parenting tips have worked for me and I hope they work for you!
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