Step Parenting

Step Father – Tips That Work

I am eight months into my new role as a step father.  I have a twelve year old step son and a ten year old step daughter.  I am not one to brag normally, but I think I have done an extraordinary job as a step father.  Today I will share with you some tips that will help you be a great step father.

Step Father Tip #1: Figure Out What Is Missing And Fill In

For me it was easy to see what was missing because the kids made it very clear that they did not like doing things by themselves.  Sometimes it is just as simple as sitting next to them while they do something else.  For example one kid likes to play X-Box and I will just sit with him and talk while he plays a game.  What does this mean?  Maybe their parents, in the midst of their divorce, forgot that what kids want most is to spend quality time with them.   This is one of the simplest things that I do as a step father that I know they appreciate tremendously.

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Step Father Tip #2: Add Laughter

From the beginning I knew one simple way to gain respect as a step father would be to find ways to add laughter to the kids’ lives. I knew that not only would this help our relationship, but it would also help the kids.  For example, one of my step kids and I watch funny videos on YouTube. There is not a better way for a step father to bond with the kids than laughing so hysterically that tears are running down your face.  Every now and again we search for videos that we have not yet seen and it ends up being such a wonderful part of my day.  Do whatever you can think of because laughter and smiling plays a major factor in everyone’s lives.

Step Father Tip #3: Get Interested In The Kids Activities

All kids have activities that they enjoy.  My step kids love soccer.  Right now they both practice twice a week and have at least two games each on the weekends.  Whatever your step kid’s interests are, make sure you learn about them and take part in these activities.  If you pretend to take an interest it will not work because the kids will read your body language.  I went from never watching a soccer game in my life to honestly enjoying watching every game they play.  I can see it in both kids that they greatly appreciate me being at their soccer games and are proud that they have a step father that is genuinely interested in their activities.

If you want to be a successful step father please do whatever you can to steer the kids in the best path possible because you will have an impact on their lives.  Let’s make that impact positive!

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