Step Parenting

Step Parenting Difficulties – The First Year

Step parenting is enjoyable when things are moving along as expected but when things change, because children change, it is not always easy.  Here is how I would summarize my first year of step parenting.

Before Marriage

It is very difficult for any child to see mom or dad with another person.  They will sometimes show you a fake happy face and pretend to be happy with the situation, but that will only last for so long.  Eventually a breakdown is inevitable.  Regardless how long ago the divorce was, your step child will always hope and wish that mom and dad will get back together.  In my case dad was already re-married, but my step child still held hope that dad and his new wife would not work out and eventually mom and dad would get back together.  This was five years after mom and dad divorced!  Because of this hope, step kids will act out with the intention of pushing their step parents away.  We had many late nights of frustration.  But because mom and I understood that there are new feelings brought on by our situation, we took it easy and let the child get whatever they needed out of their system, and eventually things went back to normal.  Step parenting can be difficult, but only as difficult as you make it.  After marriage, step parenting changes because now the kids see this as long term and will now start confiding in you.

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First Year of Step Parenting

The best way I can describe the first year of step parenting is it is like riding a roller coaster.  Most of the times we ride up the hill, things are going great, and I feel respected.  Then WHAM!  Our relationship just went from great to frustration, and because I am new to step parenting I sometimes react too quick.  What I have learned during my step parenting experience is that I need to take a quick mental checkup before reacting.  Always remember that the kids went through a very dramatic life experience and a better parent will teach how to keep cool under pressure rather than show signs of frustration.

Even with some frustration and difficulties of my step parenting path I chose to take, I am a happy and blessed to have a wonderful wife and two step children in my life.   I would not change any of our past, and look forward to building a great future.

Have a great day!

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