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Prepare for your divorce – Your Spouse Is Not a Financial Plan


Usually, a person will think about filing for divorce for a long time before they take action. Sometimes they feel something in the air from their spouse and they know something is different, but they get hung up on the feelings and do nothing to address them. In some cases, spouses wait months and even years to get a legal divorce. Regardless of the reasons, during that time, they should be preparing for the divorce. No matter who you are, a divorce will change your life.

Below we are going to give you some tips on a few things you need to have established before going to court. These things may make you uncomfortable, but your stability and the financial stability of your children are at risk. When you go into marriage you establish your ground rules for love. When you go into divorce, you are taking care of business. In a good business transaction, everyone walks away with a fair settlement.

Do not assume your spouse will be fair

You cannot assume your spouse will be at their best. Since the beginning of your marriage, you (probably) have invested in your future together. Regardless of who earns the most income, who had the best benefits package, and who has the best retirement to invest in. Now, everything will be looked at by others and dissected. Lawyers and judges are going to tell him or her what is fair and begin to slice into the investments that you worked so hard to build. They may feel offended that you do not “just trust them” to do the right thing.

Prepare for the worst

Before we get to the “easy” stuff, let’s just tackle the hardest one. Prepare for the worse. During a divorce, it is not uncommon to feel every emotion known to man. This includes:

  • Grief
  • Fear
  • Anger
  • Pride
  • Love
  • Hate
  • Sadness
  • Anxiety
  • Panic

Sometimes these things are experienced in one day. So, you talk to your attorney and have a worse day conversation. What if your ex spouse remarries they day after the divorce, takes off to a remote island, and refuses to speak to you or pay for his obligations? Let your lawyer know your concerns and he will explain your options and calm your nerves because he has answered these questions dozens of times.

Quiet Preparation

Even though you are not running from abuse, there are some great ideas on this site that you can use. While some of us consider control abuse, in this instance it doesn’t matter. Take the advice and disregard what doesn’t fit. Be very careful with your to-do list. Keep the information confidential. This is important. Do not tell anyone what you are doing. Many people have been blind-sighted because they shared their plans with a best friend who told their husband. Divorce is a situation where people take sides.

Step 1- Inventory

The first thing you are going to do is take inventory of your situation.

  • Did you stop school before getting your degree in order to stay home with the family? Will you need additional training to get a (better) job? Document what kind of training, how much it costs, and how long it will take to get.
  • Did you inherit any land or property? Get copies of all of the paperwork that went with that transaction. This will prove that it was yours and part of the marital property.
  • If you need clothes, shoes, or coats, purchase them now. Check the children’s wardrobe too. Be sure they have enough clothing to get through the next season. Include sports uniforms. If you want to keep this to yourself, order the clothes a bit bigger and on the internet. You can stash them in another room until it is needed to reveal them.
  • Call the attorney and ask what he needs. Just as every state has their own rules.

Step 2 – Health

  • Take each child in for a complete check-up. Ask for a copy of their medical history. There should be one copy for each parent. The records should include the doctor’s name, address, and phone number. This tells the judge that the children’s health is your priority and you are working with your spouse to ensure their safety.
  • If the children need braces or any other temporary treatment, take care of that now. If you have been putting off getting a check-up or a procedure done, do it now while you have good insurance and no question on how long you have been covered.


  • Budget
    • Prepare a budget as exactly as you can. Pay attention and make notes for a while. If you were taken out of the house today would you be able to find a job, pay the rent, electric bill, internet, cleaning people, buy food, clothes, and pay for transportation? You have to show that to the judge.
  • The attorney will need the last 5-years tax papers you filed.

All these preparations show the court that you are reasonable. You want everyone to walk away with an equal share of the assets. The most important people are the ones who had no say. The children did not ask to be part of this union so they should have the best from both parents.

Getting a headstart on these things gives you time to work carefully and honestly and that helps you come out a winner.

Should Couples Seeking Divorce Wait Until Covid-19 Is Over?


When we find a person that we feel is our life-long partner, we marry them. We stand before our friends and families and share an oath to be with them for the remainder of our lives. Some of us go on to have children and grow the love we have for one another. We believe we will be together forever and divorce is not an option.

In some cases, our dreams do not come true. Sometimes, we grow in different directions. Sometimes, we lose our passion for our partner and fall in love with someone else. When this happens, we usually file for divorce. While we feel a divorce is an emotional, ethical, and moral action, in reality, a divorce is a legal action. It is a contract, designed to dissolve a previous contract (the marriage.) Therefore, your divorce requires the assistance of an attorney.

When Disaster Strikes

The primary goal of any marriage is to build a family. Each member of the family works to protect, and serve the others. In 2020 the world has faced a world-wide pandemic. Coronavirus  has killed hundreds of thousands of people all around the world, with no end in sight. Foods and other critical supplies have become in short supply. People have lost jobs in huge numbers.

Finances During a Divorce

When a family divorces, money has to be divided. It is difficult to split the home, bills, children’s expenses. To do that during a time when wages are being slashed, food is in short supply, families are losing. Common sense dictates that all resources are kept together and utilized, The resources are pooled and the needs of the weakest are as strong as the strongest.

Sometimes this  is the only way to get by.

Attorneys  are going to great efforts to create fair and legal agreements to contracts that will work well to protect the assets of the families so the divorces allow all members involved to begin on a level playing field.

It is a WE world

As societies mature and grow, people tend to become “Me” people. We want everything that fits us best, We want:

  • Our best education
  • Our career
  • Our dream job
  • Our beautiful home
  • Our talent
  • Our success

But, when we experience a massive catastriffy like a hurricane, tornado, pandemic, or worse, we quickly find out that the “Me” mentality will leave you hungry, hurt, and hopeless. In order to survive, we must adapt to a “We” mentality.

If you are in the throws of a divorce

This is common sense but it is worth saying.  Judges do not look kindly on people throwing money around with the economy of the nation and their very family in danger of poverty.

We share with our neighbors. We pull together to get by. We pull together as countries, nations, continents, states, towns, neighborhoods, and people.  We share resources, data, information, and research.

Parents, Neighbors, Teachers, Adults, Officers

We have lived in a world where we try to stand back from children. We are so afraid of being accused. But now, we are going to have to step up. Carry your phone with you, film what looks odd, take pics. Ask questions. Take pictures of trucks that look odd. Look, listen, ask, and help these kids.

In all divorces, parents should remain calm. Calm parents allow children to remain calm. Parents are teaching children how to get through in all situations. Married or divorced,this is your job.

What is the Difference Between Mediation and Arbitration?


Theoretically, we are all adults and we should be able to resolve our differences on our own, with minimal drama. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Sometimes we need some help.

Alternative dispute resolution (ADR) is widely acknowledged as a viable option for people who want to settle legal disagreements without going to court. One of the things that makes it so appealing is that it encompasses several processes and techniques which can be adapted for use in different situations. Arbitration and mediation are two of the most popular methods. But what is the difference?

Understanding mediation

Mediation is a voluntary process guided by a neutral outsider, or mediator. It usually involves a series of discussions or negotiations. The point of these conversations is for each person to understand and acknowledge the other’s interests. Instead of rehashing the past, the emphasis is on the future. Ideally that will allow the participants to reach consensus on the issues in dispute.

In some cases, mediation is court-ordered. Courts will sometimes direct parties to try mediation in an effort to help them find a solution in a more efficient and cost-effective way.

Having said that, you should be aware that any agreement reached through mediation may be binding. It can also be reflected in court orders.

Understanding arbitration

In comparison to mediation, arbitration is a more formal process. In fact, it is not all that different from going to court.

In court, a judge (or jury) hears evidence and makes a decision accordingly. In arbitration, a neutral third party called an arbitrator does the same. Like traditional court proceedings, arbitration is also an adversarial process. This means one person is pitted against the other.

Arbitration is most often used to resolve business disputes. This is because many contracts include stipulations providing for arbitration if any disagreements arise. A contractual provision pertaining to arbitration is called an arbitration clause. It details the parameters for arbitration including:

  • Which laws should apply;
  • where the proceedings should occur;
  • the number of arbitrators; and
  • the application of any institutional rules.

Even without an arbitration clause, the parties can still choose arbitration as a means for settling their disagreement.

Generally, the party who wants to initiate arbitration notifies the other party and seeks their consent to move forward. If it does, the matter is heard by one to three arbitrators. Their job is to facilitate the hearing(s) and make decisions on the evidence and arguments presented.

Depending on the circumstances, the panel may render its decision immediately. This decision is called an arbitral award. The award is final and binding upon the parties. If the losing party fails to comply with the decision, the winner can enforce the award through the courts.

In a nutshell

To sum up, these are the key differences between mediation and arbitration.

  • Mediation is a collaborative process, with emphasis on finding an acceptable solution for both parties.
  • Arbitration is an adversarial process, with a ‘winner’ and ‘loser’.
  • A mediator facilitates negotiations or discussions, but does not make any decisions.
  • An arbitrator makes decisions based on material and evidence presented.
  • Mediation is voluntary or court ordered.
  • Arbitration is contractually mandated or voluntary.


Author bio: Dan Toombs serves as a Legal Partner of Mediations Australia and is preferred among the best family law mediation in Australia. He is appreciated not just for his legal expertise, but also for his ability to assist clients with critical decisions regarding their children.

Hire Your Divorce Attorney Before You Need One

Divorce Attorney

Some things need to be taken care of by every married couple, even if they are not getting a divorce. Every married couple, even a young couple who owns a little property and financial assets need to have every asset they own listed. This a will. You state who will be the executor of the will (pick out who will make your wishes happen). And file it with the court. This is why you should hire a divorce attorney even if you don’t need him.

You might ask why you would even think about listing everything your own at this phase of your life. Because, you and your spouse are making a document agreeing to what you own, and what it is worth and filing it with a judge. Your spouse cannot go back during the divorce and claim you do not own any property, a business, or a boat if he signed a paper stating he did and what it was worth. If any property is sold before beginning the divorce, find out how to register the funds so you will collect your share. This doesn’t mean you do not trust the man you married and the father of your children. This is just good business. They will also be protecting their share of the assets.

Wills, Trusts, And Estates Divorce Attorney

The attorney you hire to handle your estate may not be your divorce attorney but go to your divorce attorney first. If you have even a hint that divorce is in the air. Have your divorce attorney lead you on what things will make your divorce easier.

You should also use this time before the divorce has begun (if you are sure a divorce is coming) to gather the information your divorce attorney will need. This gives your lawyer the ability to start work immediately:

Divorce laws vary from state to state. When you go to your first appointment, you should provide the following items.

Note: If you have followed the advice and began working with him or her in advance, they will have most of this information.

  1. Your driver’s license.
  2. A list of substantial material assets and their value (your cars, your houses, your businesses, your boats, your plane, your expensive jewelry, timeshares, that Renoir or bonds, gold coins, etc.),
  3. A complete list of income for both you and your partner, and list of your necessary monthly expenses.
  4. A list of the names, dates of birth, addresses, and social security numbers of all your minor children as well as your spouse.
  5. Copies of the last three years of complete tax returns,
  6. A list of all the credit card accounts for both you and your spouse. Bring statements if you can print them off, showing the balances.
  7. Statements from all Bank Accounts going back 3 years,
  8. List extra activities your children are in such as dance, cheer, football, and softball. Include uniforms, equipment, and travel expenses. This should be made available so your child does not have to give up his or her normal activity just because mom and dad can’t decide who should pay.

Going through a divorce is one of the most challenging events in life. You are closing the chapter of your life that you built your dreams on, You may feel betrayed, hurt, mad, sad, and afraid. All of these emotions are normal and each of them is hard to handle alone. Combined, they are a force that can knock you off your feet.

In the center of all these emotions are your children. Your primary duty is to give them the best life has to offer. You know they are feeling many of these feelings too. They are heartbroken and they are confused. They love both of you, yet they feel they should take someone’s side. This is so unfair. You and your spouse are breaking up. They are not. Their world is being turned upside down and they don’t know why. You may get blamed and you may get hurt. But that is part of the job. Again, take the high road.

Adults only

The details of your divorce are for adults only. You and your partner need to come together as parents and decide what you need to tell the children. You should be honest with them. However, they do not need to know the adult details of your divorce. It can be traumatic to try to turn a child against a parent. No matter what happens between the adults, it should remain between the adults.


Divorce is hard, and some people make it harder than it has to be. If you are in a messy divorce, you know how difficult it is to take the high road and not lose your cool. But, very soon in the battle, you will wear down. You need someone to fight for you. That is what your divorce attorney does. He stands up for you and he fights for you. Even when you are too tired to fight for yourself. Use the assets provided by the courts and if your spouse refuses to follow that path, take it back to the courts. Sometimes, it is hard to give up on a dream. But push on. You will find a better place.

I Will Give Him A Divorce, But I Want My Share of The 401K


There will never be a time in life that you get more financial advice than when you begin divorce proceedings. You will hear a lot of advice about getting the house or the most money from the house.

The house is probably the biggest investment the two of you ever made. It belongs to both of you, no matter what anyone says. You can decide together who stays in the house. You can sell the house, pay it off, and split the profit. Or, one of you can pay the other for an agreed-upon amount to essentially, purchase their part of the property and profit. You can do all of this on your own and no one else has a say in your decision.

Your greatest and most complicated asset

You may be surprised to find out that your home often is not your most significant asset. If you have been married for a while, or one (or both) of you have had a job for a long time that pays into your 401K, it is probably a substantial amount of money. This money is part of the marital assets. In other words, it belongs to both of you. But, it is not just the two of you when it comes to this asset. The 401k plan must have an administrator and he or she is immediately involved.

Three-step process

●     Your divorce decree must order the division of money.

This is a necessary and expected addition to your divorce papers. The Employee Retirement Income Security Act (known as ERISA) was passed into law in 1974. It does not matter which spouse has the retirement account, their partner is entitled to their share. It is very important to understand that your divorce decree, no matter where it stands in the process, does not give you your share of the retirement money.

●     Your attorney must draw up a legal document called the Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)

This legal document must be signed by the family court judge. It is then given to the 401k plan administrator. The document tells the administrator how to divide and disperse the money. The QDRO establishes the spouse as an alternate payee.

●     Collecting

Your spouse has three options on how to receive their money. The QDRO specifies which method they chose. The options are:

  • Roll the money over into their own retirement plan
  • Leave the money in the account and take their share when you take yours
  • Take a cash payment (less any taxes, penalties, and fees).
    • If either of the spouses decides to take their portion of the money at the time of divorce, there is no 10% early withdrawal fee. This is a one-time exception. After that opportunity has passed, unless the spouse is 59 ½ years of age, they will pay the 10% penalty.


Regardless of the age of the spouses, the government will count the money as income and income taxes must be paid to the IRS.


Division of retirement funds is the second most fought-over part of divorces. In fact, 83% of divorces go into battle over alimony, 62% fight over retirement money, and 60% fight over business interests. When you think of all the things that people have trouble with such as homes, automobiles, pets, child support, visitation, and expensive belongings it is hard to imagine 20% of divorcing couples are more concerned with their 401K than their time and housing for their children. After 2018, spouses who are ordered to pay alimony can no longer claim it as a tax deduction. So, these numbers may change.

What you should know

Expert needed

You can use your divorce attorney to draw up your separate legal documents regarding retirement money, but you do not have to. This is a tricky subject and there is no wiggle room. Ask him if he is experienced in the preparation of the QDRO. You want and need an expert in this field. If he is not qualified, hire a separate attorney.

Not a one-stop-shop

In many families, there is more than one retirement account. There could be retirement accounts from past jobs, from government jobs or military service. You may have one for each spouse. Each one of these accounts needs its own QDRO. Each of them will have their own administrator (which will have to approve them.)

In the last three decades, the divorce rate for women over 50-years-old doubled. It has held at one in every four divorces. When a person is over 50, their net worth is significantly impacted by the amount of savings, property, and investments they possess. The divisions of the 401K are difficult and the laws require an expert.

Do not change the beneficiary until the funds are dispersed

You know you are getting the divorce and you have come to an agreement on the retirement monies, so you go ahead and remove your spouse’s name as the beneficiary. If your ex is killed in an accident, before the paperwork and process are complete in this separate issue, you are no longer entitled to the money. If he changed the beneficiary to his mother, she gets the money. Do not change it until then. In most cases, your spouse cannot make changes without your signature.

State a percentage, not a dollar amount

Let’s say, the retirement account had $200,000 in it when you began the divorce process. You agreed to split it down the middle. Your paperwork is drawn up and signed by the family court judge and approved by the plan administrator. This is a long process. If during that time, the market changed and your plan grew by $50,000, you are expecting $125,000. If your paperwork reads that each of you will get 50% of the money, that is what you will get. But, if your paperwork reads that you will get $100,000 which is what half was in the beginning, you will get $100,000 and your spouse will get $150,000. It is all in the wording.

Of course the same is true if the plan took a dip. If the plan loses $50,000 and your paperwork reads that you will get $100,000 instead of 50%, you will get your $100,000 and your spouse gets hit with the loss and only gets $50,000. It is just luck. It is better to be safe than sorry.

Divorce is hard enough. Emotions run high. Learn what you need to know well before you need to know it. Don’t make the mistake of walking away and letting your spouse have it all. The money is set aside for the future. Yours and theirs. So, do the work and maintain your security.

You cannot learn everything you need to know from the internet or from your neighbor who got a divorce a few years ago. Just as your marriage is unlike anyone else’s, your divorce must be written for your marriage. Your attorney will gather the correct information from you to know how to get you what you need and to protect you. Call a qualified attorney, and keep your details to yourself until then.

Is Divorce Mediation Right For You?

Divorce Mediation

Some years ago, you got married and took an oath that you would love each other, for better or worse until you took your last breath. That was then and you believed it with all your heart. But today, things have changed, Your union is dissolving.

Divorce can bring out the worst in people. It can be a tremendous invasion of privacy. No question is too personal. Also, your friends will choose a team. This is hard to understand. However, it will happen.


You may already see the problems ahead when you or your partner split, you probably don’t realize the magnitude. You would not be the first couple who decided to go to counseling and try to save their marriage. Here are a few immediate issues you will face:

  • You will live on much less income

Even if you make the majority of the money, you will not mix in your partner’s money and you will need to pay them part of your money until you reach an agreement.

  • Division of property

The house will become someone. It may be one of the partners who share the home, or it may be sold and become someone else.

  • The children and even the pets

You will need to talk about children and pets. Of course, the children are the most important but bottom line is, anything or anyone under your care that cannot care for themselves. Who will care for them when you cannot? What lifestyle can you give them that will cause the least disruption to their lives?

What is divorce mediation?

A mediator may or may not be an attorney. Some attorneys and retired judges become mediators as a way to help people get through a divorce. But, even if they are an attorney, they work for you as a family. They are legal professionals and all that takes place is kept confidential. The divorce mediator should be familiar with the laws in the state or territory where the divorce will take place. With their help, you can work out an agreement that works for your family. You may have moments when you lose your cool. This would be a problem in court, but in mediation, it will not cause an issue. With your agreement in place and all the issues worked out, you are now ready to file a divorce. If you have come to a good agreement and are ready to have your agreement finalized, you can file for an uncontested divorce. Your divorce will be filed and signed and when the correct number of days has passed, it will become final.


Perhaps your spouse is not someone you can trust by his or her word. Maybe there is a lot of property and assets involved. Maybe there has been abuse or addiction in the marriage. If any of these examples or any other threats are evident, you need an attorney. An attorney is a heavy-hitter in this game. Yes, an attorney costs money, but it is money well-spent.

An attorney is only interested in helping his clients. The attorney will watch the climate of the divorce and be ready to make a move at any moment.

Only you can decide what the best option is for your divorce. Take the time to check out all your options and do what is right for you.

More important problems

Who you are

You will go through all kinds of emotions. Sometimes there will be peace and other times there will be great anger and frustration. Just when you think you have felt everything possible, it will start all over again. While this is happening, you must remember, everyone is going through their part. Be careful not to expect others to feel what you feel. You are getting a divorce. Your partner is getting a divorce. But, your children are not getting a divorce. They feel their own pain and confusion. They are not your eyes, your ears, your spy, or your protector. 

No Winners

You are not going to win your divorce. Your spouse is not going to win. No matter how civil divorce is and how mature you manage to dissolve the union, it is still going to be dissolved. Getting a little more of the money or a piece of land that means a lot to her, might give you gratification, but vengeance is short-lived. If you have children in a marriage, you will be tied in some way to your spouse for years. You will share children and you will share grandchildren. Your plan to have a special bit of pain built into your divorce will not be much of a plan a few years down the road.


Divorce is a painful thing. It hurts everyone involved. Making it as easy as possible is in your best interest. Is divorce mediation in your best interest? Yes. If you can do anything that can smooth out the process and work out painful problems outside of the court, you are more likely to get what you want. You can come away from your court experience and show your children how you can go through challenges in life without letting them destroy you.

For you divorce mediation, choose your legal professionals carefully and let them fight the battle for you.

Divorce Application: Simple Steps to Start Your Process

Divorce Application

When marital problems can no longer be resolved through calm discussions and counseling, it often leads to a heartbreaking but frequently necessary decision— filing for divorce. While it may seem easy based on what is being portrayed in movies and television shows, divorce application can be a complicated process that can get expensive and stressful. It gets emotionally taxing when dealing with the impending of a relationship. Also, there are other factors you need to consider especially when there are minor children involved. The situation could even get complicated if there are monetary issues and property entanglements involved.

However, this should not dishearten and overwhelm couples who are already confident with their respective decisions. Below are some simple steps that can guide you should you decide to get started with your divorce application.

Inform Your Partner of Your Decision

Inform Your Partner of Your DecisionPhoto by Hutomo Abrianto

Once you have come up with a final decision to separate ways from your partner, it is crucial that you open and discuss this matter with your partner. During your honest conversation, you must disclose the reasons why you have decided to get a divorce. It is in this way that you and your partner can come up with a joint decision and decide on a living arrangement that will be best for both of you and your children, if any.

It is also crucial that during this discussion, both of you should keep an open mind, and you respect each other to avoid adding more layers of problems on top of the already existing ones. By doing so, you also prevent the possibility of a lengthy and complicated divorce process.

If you are a woman and you are in a complicated situation wherein an amicable communication is impossible, then seek help from a local women’s shelter first so they can assist you with this matter. Doing so is especially important if you have minor children to protect.

Inform Your Children of Your Decision

While it is easier said than done, informing your children of your decision to separate ways with your partner is among the crucial first steps of getting a divorce. Ideally, you and your partner will settle first on an agreement as to how you can properly inform your children on what’s about to happen.

This step will get extra complicated and emotionally taxing if you have to explain it to your young children. You need to be extra careful with your word choice, and you also need to sound reassuring. And even if your children are already adults who can already fully understand your situation, it is still crucial that you inform them.

Hire Your Own Divorce Attorney

To help you in reviewing your entire case, a divorce attorney can help you out. Your attorney can give you legal advice and can assist in reviewing and managing legal documents and other paperwork.

Before choosing a divorce attorney, make sure that you do your research first on who can represent you and serve you your best interests.

Prepare a Fully-Detailed Petition Against Your Spouse

You can officially start the divorce process by preparing a petition or complaint against your spouse. Upon filing the divorce petition, there are three crucial details that you need to include. First, the statement that at least one spouse meets the requirements of state residency for divorce.

Second, the grounds or legal reasons for filing the divorce. Indicate whether you are filing a no-fault divorce or a fault divorce. It is crucial that your petition includes the grounds of your divorce. The grounds for a fault divorce include cruelty or abuse, adultery, desertion, prison confinement, and infertility.

And third, additional statutory information required by the state you belong to. In addition, the petition should also contain full details about your children, such as their name, birthdates, and age. You should also include the complete address of your immediate family members. The petition must fully state your purpose for going to the court. You can indicate details on spousal and child support, custody and visitation conditions, insurance, and properties.

Request for Temporary Court Orders

In some instances, there are waiting periods for divorce that might be unbearable for some people, particularly those who are dependent on the other party for financial support. That is why, upon filing for divorce, know that the court will allow you to request or ask for temporary court orders. Such court orders include child custody, spousal and child support, status quo payments, and temporary property restraining order.

Once you ask a temporary order from the court, a hearing will be held to decide its ruling. Most temporary order requests are granted immediately.

If you were not able to request a temporary order when you filed for divorce, make sure to apply for it as soon as possible.

Provide Copies of Paperwork to Your Spouse and the Court

Once you have successfully filed your petition and asked for temporary orders, you are required to provide your spouse copies of the paperwork. And, you are also required to file a proof of service with the court that confirms your spouse received a copy of your petition. Be sure to fulfill this, or else the judge will not proceed with your divorce case.

Unfortunately, there are some cases wherein it is difficult to make the other party acknowledge the service, especially if they would be intentionally evasive and uncooperative. This is the time when you should consider hiring a professional who can deal with such difficult parties.

Wait for Your Spouse’s Response

Wait for Your Spouse's ResponsePhoto by Eric Ward

After sending the paperwork to your spouse (also considered as the defendant), the waiting period begins. The defendant should be able to respond and acknowledge the service within the required amount of time unless they want to get into a default, complicated, and expensive judgment against them.


Starting a divorce application can be overwhelming but when it’s already affecting your lives and especially that of your children’s welfare, then all the struggle will be worth it. The entire process can be tedious and taxing but with the right know-how of the simple steps that start such a process, you will do just fine.


About the Author:

Dominic Nguyen’s firm specializes in cases related to family and divorce law, property and conveyancing, building and construction law, and insurance matters. He is a member of the NSW Law Society and the NSW Lawyers Civil Litigation Committee. Dominic also fluently speaks Vietnamese and is happily married in Sydney, Australia.

To Finalize Your Divorce, You’ll need to Make Decisions on These Five Things


The first step in the divorce cycle is undoubtedly the most daunting step you can take during your divorce: make a divorce decision at all. There are the wrong approaches and the best ways to go about making the first move. Below are some things to avoid when you try to make a decision as to whether a divorce is right for you.

Together with lawyers, mediators and other experts who help you determine the specifics of your divorce; you may want to use this opportunity to find out how to make your own decisions.

When you have children, after the divorce is over, if you’ve worked out how to make decisions together, you will minimize or remove the need for medical and court assistance for the remainder of the minority of your children.

No matter how frenzied or depressed you feel, when divorcing you need to make wise decisions. Fairly or not, judges will look at the choices you make in the first year of post-separation as a precedent for the future. So you’d be better off making wise choices!

Here are some tips                

  1. Don’t let anger force you to divorce

The divorce decision will be taken when you are level-headed and free from feelings. This is particularly true if you’ve got kids. For the sake of children, it is important that whoever wants to leave the marriage is able to do so in a respectful manner.

Significant decisions such as divorce can never be driven by feelings of anger. The anger toward the partner isn’t going to last forever, because one day you don’t want to know that you’ve made a bad decision based on unreasonable feelings.

  1. Share your desire to divorce someone you truly trust

Find a trustworthy confidant or psychiatrist, but don’t talk to someone eager to listen to your unhappiness. When you chose not to split, you may have to battle the rumours that travel through social circles. Marital issues are family ones. These are the things that you share with your partner, not your family and the whole community.

The decision to divorce can be difficult. You need to know that your decision will have a positive effect on you, your family, and your children for years to come. Take your time, use the level head, and take into account not just what divorce means to you, but also to all those involved in your decision.

  1. Don’t give up on your marriage until you have done everything you can to fix your problems

Solving problems means letting your partner know that marital issues have become so difficult that you are considering divorce. Nine times out of ten, you both have a part to play in the issues of your marriage. It is only fair that you will have the ability to work together to fix the issues or to meet with a marriage counsellor.

Divorce should arrive only after you have earnestly made every attempt to save your family. Communicate about marital issues and work together for agreements and alternatives. If the issues persist after working together, consider an outside tool like a marriage consultant to collaborate with on seeking remedies.

  1. Don’t get involved with anyone else

When you’re divorced, new marriages are good. The introduction of a third party into an already bad situation only worsens the situation. If you had an affair out of fear of being lonely until you divorce then you have to live with your fear of being alone rather than binding yourself to someone different only to avoid having to confront your anxiety.

Going outside of your marriage for solutions to marital issues just intensifies the difficulties and compromises the decision until the bottom falls and you are unable to choose between the family and your spouse in the affair.

  1. Don’t leave an unhappy relationship until you can comfortably take care of yourself

Alimony is not guaranteed these days and even if it is, child support and alimony will not provide you and your children with a proper lifestyle in case you divorce Dream about building up your own house before considering divorce.

When you do not have marketable job skills or require your career to stay at home and raise your children, you will not divorce until you have taken the required steps to be completely financially stable after the divorce.

About Author:

For any children’s concerns, including support and parenting, or other divorce problems, people in and around San Bernardino and Riverside Counties know just which family law lawyer to call first. The Divorce attorney in San Bernardino is committed to supporting every client that comes to their place.

Common Types of Family Law Case

Family is the most important thing in the world, and this ensures that any issues that occur are of great concern to everyone in the family. This is where the Los Angeles Family Law Lawyer steps in and tries to resolve any breakdowns as friendly as possible.

Disputes relating to family law are dealt with in the civil court system, which allows two people to settle their differences before a judge. Family law cases will deal with domestic issues and are usually between spouses and parents, whether it solves issues between them or about their children.

Read on for more information on the common problems that may arise in family law cases and how they are handled in court.

  1. Divorce

When a parent decides to dissolve their relationship, different things have to be sorted outout. They need to arrive at an agreement to share debts and assets. If they have kids, they must decide who gets their custody. When a divorcing couple is unable to reach an agreement, they can file a case in a family court.

The statues of family law define the rules of asset distribution, child custody, and spousal and child support. Los Angeles Divorce Attorney statues define asset distribution rules, child custody rules, and spousal and child support rules.

  1. Adoption

Family law has different regulations relating to adoption. These regulations were incorporated to ensure the best interests of the adopted child. A couple or individual wishing to adopt a child must abide by these regulations. Adopting a child entails lengthy paperwork which can lead to delays. Adopters must consider hiring a family law attorney to comply with various guidelines and complete the paperwork swiftly.

  1. Child Support

Cases relating to child support shall be brought to court if there are disagreements about the amount that a parent should contribute or if they have failed to keep up with payments. Child support is required if a child is under 18 years of age or up to 20 years of age if he or she is not high school graduates, which means they are dependent on their parents.

Payments include food, clothing, medical care or education aid for a child. A family law court is in a position to issue an order setting out child support requirements to resolve the disputes.

  1. Protection orders

In cases of domestic violence, victims who feel threatened and worry that the aggressor may attempt to physically harm them can file a petition in court to appeal to pass a restraining order.

Depending on the circumstances the restraining order may be temporary or permanent. Restraining orders restrict contact between the aggressor and the aggrieved party. The victim may have them arrested if the aggressor violates the restraining order.

  1. Child custody

Child custody in divorce cases can be a contentious issue. If the couple can’t decide who will be able to keep the child, then the court will intervene. Family court’s presiding over child custody cases take various factors to come to a conclusion, such as both the income of the parents, the needs of the child and the physical and mental health of the parents.

  1. Paternity:

In most cases the mother lodges paternity cases in an effort to secure child support payments from an absent father. But biological fathers sometimes file for paternity so they can have a relationship with their child. Typically paternity is determined by DNA testing.

However, in many jurisdictions, there are a variety of rules and time constraints that may deny the inheritance rights of a deceased father’s biological children. Family courts help you to solve this kind of issues and cases.

A Family Law Study

A Family Law StudyThere are several other types of Family Law. One factor remains the same though. Cases relating to family law typically involve more emotion than others.

Issues such as divorce and custody of children are high on stake. You could be overwhelmed if you find yourself in the middle of a family issue. Each state has specific legislation that can affect the outcome of your case. Having an experienced and skilled Los Angeles Family Law Lawyer will mean you can deal with any of these common family law issues when they occur. If you have any family law questions, you should talk to a lawyer who has experience in the niche.


Michael L. Whitmarsh is the Principal Attorney at Whitmarsh Family Law, PC. He is considered amongst the  Los Angeles Divorce Lawyers, with her prime focus areas being Family Law including Divorce, Child Custody and Paternity Modifications. Whitmarsh is highly passionate about her cases and understands her clients’ requirements with patience to come up with the most apt solution to embark on their journey to another chapter in their life.

Smart Divorce Network Contributor

How Divorced Parents Handle Custody and Coronavirus


Parents around the U.S. are advised to practice social distancing, avoiding travel and grouping social conditions to help lower the chances of Coronavirus catching and spreading. But determining whether to deal with COVID-19 based quarantines can be difficult for parents who are separated and transfer their kids between two households as part of a custody agreement.

When millions of people around the world practice social isolation and self-quarantine, they isolate themselves from all of their immediate family members. Nevertheless, the concept of “immediate family” is not clear for divorced or separated parents who share custody of their children.

Under normal circumstances, co-parenting is full of challenges. It is twice as difficult to try to maintain a stable family relationship with your ex during a global pandemic.

Below are some tips on how to co-parent during this global health crisis

  1. Be flexible

Many parents are out of work, some work at home and others in fields such as health care and other essential services face long, erratic hours. With all this upheaval, it’s really important to play nice with your ex.

If you are living with a high-conflict partner who wants clear boundaries and laws, the name of the game during the COVID-19 pandemic is compromised and working together for the wellbeing of the children and your own safety.

Most of the children still feel nervous and anxious. Getting their parent’s problem-solving and becoming a cohesive team would make all the difference with the way they’re moving through this crisis.

  1. Be prepared to modify child support in the cases of a job loss

Many parents are currently making child support modifications due to widespread job loss. If this is something you like to do, have some formal arrangement with your ex.

When you are unable to agree, consider filing a petition with the court to maintain the right to change the amount of compensation you are paying back to the date your income reached.

If you need to have this discussion with your ex, approach it as compassionately as possible.

  1. Think twice before sending the fiery message

Maybe don’t send the angry text about the trip that your ex took right before your condition got worse. Think about how you say statements, how they are going to be interpreted, how they are going to be preserved for future litigation.

Regardless of how right you are, the other person is suffering too. We all do. Fear of the unknown creates tension and now is the time that you could use your support and reassurance to the person you want to have a child with.

  1. Get the custody arrangement modified in writing

Since so many working lives are upended, some exes agree to terms that are somewhat different from those set out in their custody agreements. When you are changing your custody agreement, consider getting it in writing, particularly when you think your ex would benefit from the parenting plan that has been updated since the outbreak.

  1. When you and your ex are at odds about who has the children. Then follow your court orders. But if one parent is allowed to have COVID-19, then behave fairly

Don’t risk the children being subjected to COVID-19 just to follow the custody plan. If you and your children are exposed to the virus, be vigilant with your husband, share the details and, if possible, keep the children until you are certain they are not sick or carriers.

  1. Be Generous

Try to give the parent that missed out makeup time, if at all possible. Family law judges require fair compromise where it is practicable to do so and should consider seriously the questions posed in future complaints regarding parents who are unyielding in highly rare situations.

  1. Be Creative

Around the same time, it will be foolish to think that nothing would change when people are told not to travel and to shutter holiday destinations like theme parks, museums and movie centers around the world.

Additionally, some parents will have to work additional hours to help cope with the crisis and other parents may be out of work or work for a while. Plans always need to adjust. Encourage closeness to the adult who does not see the infant by mutual books, videos, sports, or Skype.


About Author: 

At Smoak Law, P.C., our Family Law Lawyer in Salt Lake City insists on the specific interests of each of our clients while presenting a family law situation. The choices taken in our law offices will impact the rest of your life, so it’s vital to our family law firm that we find the best result possible for your full family law requirements.

Our divorce attorney in Salt Lake City will lead the way by offering the legal advice you need to push your new life forward.