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I Will Give Him A Divorce, But I Want My Share of The 401K


There will never be a time in life that you get more financial advice than when you begin divorce proceedings. You will hear a lot of advice about getting the house or the most money from the house.

The house is probably the biggest investment the two of you ever made. It belongs to both of you, no matter what anyone says. You can decide together who stays in the house. You can sell the house, pay it off, and split the profit. Or, one of you can pay the other for an agreed-upon amount to essentially, purchase their part of the property and profit. You can do all of this on your own and no one else has a say in your decision.

Your greatest and most complicated asset

You may be surprised to find out that your home often is not your most significant asset. If you have been married for a while, or one (or both) of you have had a job for a long time that pays into your 401K, it is probably a substantial amount of money. This money is part of the marital assets. In other words, it belongs to both of you. But, it is not just the two of you when it comes to this asset. The 401k plan must have an administrator and he or she is immediately involved.

Three-step process

●     Your divorce decree must order the division of money.

This is a necessary and expected addition to your divorce papers. The Employee Retirement Income Security Act (known as ERISA) was passed into law in 1974. It does not matter which spouse has the retirement account, their partner is entitled to their share. It is very important to understand that your divorce decree, no matter where it stands in the process, does not give you your share of the retirement money.

●     Your attorney must draw up a legal document called the Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)

This legal document must be signed by the family court judge. It is then given to the 401k plan administrator. The document tells the administrator how to divide and disperse the money. The QDRO establishes the spouse as an alternate payee.

●     Collecting

Your spouse has three options on how to receive their money. The QDRO specifies which method they chose. The options are:

  • Roll the money over into their own retirement plan
  • Leave the money in the account and take their share when you take yours
  • Take a cash payment (less any taxes, penalties, and fees).
    • If either of the spouses decides to take their portion of the money at the time of divorce, there is no 10% early withdrawal fee. This is a one-time exception. After that opportunity has passed, unless the spouse is 59 ½ years of age, they will pay the 10% penalty.


Regardless of the age of the spouses, the government will count the money as income and income taxes must be paid to the IRS.


Division of retirement funds is the second most fought-over part of divorces. In fact, 83% of divorces go into battle over alimony, 62% fight over retirement money, and 60% fight over business interests. When you think of all the things that people have trouble with such as homes, automobiles, pets, child support, visitation, and expensive belongings it is hard to imagine 20% of divorcing couples are more concerned with their 401K than their time and housing for their children. After 2018, spouses who are ordered to pay alimony can no longer claim it as a tax deduction. So, these numbers may change.

What you should know

Expert needed

You can use your divorce attorney to draw up your separate legal documents regarding retirement money, but you do not have to. This is a tricky subject and there is no wiggle room. Ask him if he is experienced in the preparation of the QDRO. You want and need an expert in this field. If he is not qualified, hire a separate attorney.

Not a one-stop-shop

In many families, there is more than one retirement account. There could be retirement accounts from past jobs, from government jobs or military service. You may have one for each spouse. Each one of these accounts needs its own QDRO. Each of them will have their own administrator (which will have to approve them.)

In the last three decades, the divorce rate for women over 50-years-old doubled. It has held at one in every four divorces. When a person is over 50, their net worth is significantly impacted by the amount of savings, property, and investments they possess. The divisions of the 401K are difficult and the laws require an expert.

Do not change the beneficiary until the funds are dispersed

You know you are getting the divorce and you have come to an agreement on the retirement monies, so you go ahead and remove your spouse’s name as the beneficiary. If your ex is killed in an accident, before the paperwork and process are complete in this separate issue, you are no longer entitled to the money. If he changed the beneficiary to his mother, she gets the money. Do not change it until then. In most cases, your spouse cannot make changes without your signature.

State a percentage, not a dollar amount

Let’s say, the retirement account had $200,000 in it when you began the divorce process. You agreed to split it down the middle. Your paperwork is drawn up and signed by the family court judge and approved by the plan administrator. This is a long process. If during that time, the market changed and your plan grew by $50,000, you are expecting $125,000. If your paperwork reads that each of you will get 50% of the money, that is what you will get. But, if your paperwork reads that you will get $100,000 which is what half was in the beginning, you will get $100,000 and your spouse will get $150,000. It is all in the wording.

Of course the same is true if the plan took a dip. If the plan loses $50,000 and your paperwork reads that you will get $100,000 instead of 50%, you will get your $100,000 and your spouse gets hit with the loss and only gets $50,000. It is just luck. It is better to be safe than sorry.

Divorce is hard enough. Emotions run high. Learn what you need to know well before you need to know it. Don’t make the mistake of walking away and letting your spouse have it all. The money is set aside for the future. Yours and theirs. So, do the work and maintain your security.

You cannot learn everything you need to know from the internet or from your neighbor who got a divorce a few years ago. Just as your marriage is unlike anyone else’s, your divorce must be written for your marriage. Your attorney will gather the correct information from you to know how to get you what you need and to protect you. Call a qualified attorney, and keep your details to yourself until then.

Is Divorce Mediation Right For You?

Divorce Mediation

Some years ago, you got married and took an oath that you would love each other, for better or worse until you took your last breath. That was then and you believed it with all your heart. But today, things have changed, Your union is dissolving.

Divorce can bring out the worst in people. It can be a tremendous invasion of privacy. No question is too personal. Also, your friends will choose a team. This is hard to understand. However, it will happen.


You may already see the problems ahead when you or your partner split, you probably don’t realize the magnitude. You would not be the first couple who decided to go to counseling and try to save their marriage. Here are a few immediate issues you will face:

  • You will live on much less income

Even if you make the majority of the money, you will not mix in your partner’s money and you will need to pay them part of your money until you reach an agreement.

  • Division of property

The house will become someone. It may be one of the partners who share the home, or it may be sold and become someone else.

  • The children and even the pets

You will need to talk about children and pets. Of course, the children are the most important but bottom line is, anything or anyone under your care that cannot care for themselves. Who will care for them when you cannot? What lifestyle can you give them that will cause the least disruption to their lives?

What is divorce mediation?

A mediator may or may not be an attorney. Some attorneys and retired judges become mediators as a way to help people get through a divorce. But, even if they are an attorney, they work for you as a family. They are legal professionals and all that takes place is kept confidential. The divorce mediator should be familiar with the laws in the state or territory where the divorce will take place. With their help, you can work out an agreement that works for your family. You may have moments when you lose your cool. This would be a problem in court, but in mediation, it will not cause an issue. With your agreement in place and all the issues worked out, you are now ready to file a divorce. If you have come to a good agreement and are ready to have your agreement finalized, you can file for an uncontested divorce. Your divorce will be filed and signed and when the correct number of days has passed, it will become final.


Perhaps your spouse is not someone you can trust by his or her word. Maybe there is a lot of property and assets involved. Maybe there has been abuse or addiction in the marriage. If any of these examples or any other threats are evident, you need an attorney. An attorney is a heavy-hitter in this game. Yes, an attorney costs money, but it is money well-spent.

An attorney is only interested in helping his clients. The attorney will watch the climate of the divorce and be ready to make a move at any moment.

Only you can decide what the best option is for your divorce. Take the time to check out all your options and do what is right for you.

More important problems

Who you are

You will go through all kinds of emotions. Sometimes there will be peace and other times there will be great anger and frustration. Just when you think you have felt everything possible, it will start all over again. While this is happening, you must remember, everyone is going through their part. Be careful not to expect others to feel what you feel. You are getting a divorce. Your partner is getting a divorce. But, your children are not getting a divorce. They feel their own pain and confusion. They are not your eyes, your ears, your spy, or your protector. 

No Winners

You are not going to win your divorce. Your spouse is not going to win. No matter how civil divorce is and how mature you manage to dissolve the union, it is still going to be dissolved. Getting a little more of the money or a piece of land that means a lot to her, might give you gratification, but vengeance is short-lived. If you have children in a marriage, you will be tied in some way to your spouse for years. You will share children and you will share grandchildren. Your plan to have a special bit of pain built into your divorce will not be much of a plan a few years down the road.


Divorce is a painful thing. It hurts everyone involved. Making it as easy as possible is in your best interest. Is divorce mediation in your best interest? Yes. If you can do anything that can smooth out the process and work out painful problems outside of the court, you are more likely to get what you want. You can come away from your court experience and show your children how you can go through challenges in life without letting them destroy you.

For you divorce mediation, choose your legal professionals carefully and let them fight the battle for you.

Divorce Application: Simple Steps to Start Your Process

Divorce Application

When marital problems can no longer be resolved through calm discussions and counseling, it often leads to a heartbreaking but frequently necessary decision— filing for divorce. While it may seem easy based on what is being portrayed in movies and television shows, divorce application can be a complicated process that can get expensive and stressful. It gets emotionally taxing when dealing with the impending of a relationship. Also, there are other factors you need to consider especially when there are minor children involved. The situation could even get complicated if there are monetary issues and property entanglements involved.

However, this should not dishearten and overwhelm couples who are already confident with their respective decisions. Below are some simple steps that can guide you should you decide to get started with your divorce application.

Inform Your Partner of Your Decision

Inform Your Partner of Your DecisionPhoto by Hutomo Abrianto

Once you have come up with a final decision to separate ways from your partner, it is crucial that you open and discuss this matter with your partner. During your honest conversation, you must disclose the reasons why you have decided to get a divorce. It is in this way that you and your partner can come up with a joint decision and decide on a living arrangement that will be best for both of you and your children, if any.

It is also crucial that during this discussion, both of you should keep an open mind, and you respect each other to avoid adding more layers of problems on top of the already existing ones. By doing so, you also prevent the possibility of a lengthy and complicated divorce process.

If you are a woman and you are in a complicated situation wherein an amicable communication is impossible, then seek help from a local women’s shelter first so they can assist you with this matter. Doing so is especially important if you have minor children to protect.

Inform Your Children of Your Decision

While it is easier said than done, informing your children of your decision to separate ways with your partner is among the crucial first steps of getting a divorce. Ideally, you and your partner will settle first on an agreement as to how you can properly inform your children on what’s about to happen.

This step will get extra complicated and emotionally taxing if you have to explain it to your young children. You need to be extra careful with your word choice, and you also need to sound reassuring. And even if your children are already adults who can already fully understand your situation, it is still crucial that you inform them.

Hire Your Own Divorce Attorney

To help you in reviewing your entire case, a divorce attorney can help you out. Your attorney can give you legal advice and can assist in reviewing and managing legal documents and other paperwork.

Before choosing a divorce attorney, make sure that you do your research first on who can represent you and serve you your best interests.

Prepare a Fully-Detailed Petition Against Your Spouse

You can officially start the divorce process by preparing a petition or complaint against your spouse. Upon filing the divorce petition, there are three crucial details that you need to include. First, the statement that at least one spouse meets the requirements of state residency for divorce.

Second, the grounds or legal reasons for filing the divorce. Indicate whether you are filing a no-fault divorce or a fault divorce. It is crucial that your petition includes the grounds of your divorce. The grounds for a fault divorce include cruelty or abuse, adultery, desertion, prison confinement, and infertility.

And third, additional statutory information required by the state you belong to. In addition, the petition should also contain full details about your children, such as their name, birthdates, and age. You should also include the complete address of your immediate family members. The petition must fully state your purpose for going to the court. You can indicate details on spousal and child support, custody and visitation conditions, insurance, and properties.

Request for Temporary Court Orders

In some instances, there are waiting periods for divorce that might be unbearable for some people, particularly those who are dependent on the other party for financial support. That is why, upon filing for divorce, know that the court will allow you to request or ask for temporary court orders. Such court orders include child custody, spousal and child support, status quo payments, and temporary property restraining order.

Once you ask a temporary order from the court, a hearing will be held to decide its ruling. Most temporary order requests are granted immediately.

If you were not able to request a temporary order when you filed for divorce, make sure to apply for it as soon as possible.

Provide Copies of Paperwork to Your Spouse and the Court

Once you have successfully filed your petition and asked for temporary orders, you are required to provide your spouse copies of the paperwork. And, you are also required to file a proof of service with the court that confirms your spouse received a copy of your petition. Be sure to fulfill this, or else the judge will not proceed with your divorce case.

Unfortunately, there are some cases wherein it is difficult to make the other party acknowledge the service, especially if they would be intentionally evasive and uncooperative. This is the time when you should consider hiring a professional who can deal with such difficult parties.

Wait for Your Spouse’s Response

Wait for Your Spouse's ResponsePhoto by Eric Ward

After sending the paperwork to your spouse (also considered as the defendant), the waiting period begins. The defendant should be able to respond and acknowledge the service within the required amount of time unless they want to get into a default, complicated, and expensive judgment against them.


Starting a divorce application can be overwhelming but when it’s already affecting your lives and especially that of your children’s welfare, then all the struggle will be worth it. The entire process can be tedious and taxing but with the right know-how of the simple steps that start such a process, you will do just fine.


About the Author:

Dominic Nguyen’s firm specializes in cases related to family and divorce law, property and conveyancing, building and construction law, and insurance matters. He is a member of the NSW Law Society and the NSW Lawyers Civil Litigation Committee. Dominic also fluently speaks Vietnamese and is happily married in Sydney, Australia.

To Finalize Your Divorce, You’ll need to Make Decisions on These Five Things


The first step in the divorce cycle is undoubtedly the most daunting step you can take during your divorce: make a divorce decision at all. There are the wrong approaches and the best ways to go about making the first move. Below are some things to avoid when you try to make a decision as to whether a divorce is right for you.

Together with lawyers, mediators and other experts who help you determine the specifics of your divorce; you may want to use this opportunity to find out how to make your own decisions.

When you have children, after the divorce is over, if you’ve worked out how to make decisions together, you will minimize or remove the need for medical and court assistance for the remainder of the minority of your children.

No matter how frenzied or depressed you feel, when divorcing you need to make wise decisions. Fairly or not, judges will look at the choices you make in the first year of post-separation as a precedent for the future. So you’d be better off making wise choices!

Here are some tips                

  1. Don’t let anger force you to divorce

The divorce decision will be taken when you are level-headed and free from feelings. This is particularly true if you’ve got kids. For the sake of children, it is important that whoever wants to leave the marriage is able to do so in a respectful manner.

Significant decisions such as divorce can never be driven by feelings of anger. The anger toward the partner isn’t going to last forever, because one day you don’t want to know that you’ve made a bad decision based on unreasonable feelings.

  1. Share your desire to divorce someone you truly trust

Find a trustworthy confidant or psychiatrist, but don’t talk to someone eager to listen to your unhappiness. When you chose not to split, you may have to battle the rumours that travel through social circles. Marital issues are family ones. These are the things that you share with your partner, not your family and the whole community.

The decision to divorce can be difficult. You need to know that your decision will have a positive effect on you, your family, and your children for years to come. Take your time, use the level head, and take into account not just what divorce means to you, but also to all those involved in your decision.

  1. Don’t give up on your marriage until you have done everything you can to fix your problems

Solving problems means letting your partner know that marital issues have become so difficult that you are considering divorce. Nine times out of ten, you both have a part to play in the issues of your marriage. It is only fair that you will have the ability to work together to fix the issues or to meet with a marriage counsellor.

Divorce should arrive only after you have earnestly made every attempt to save your family. Communicate about marital issues and work together for agreements and alternatives. If the issues persist after working together, consider an outside tool like a marriage consultant to collaborate with on seeking remedies.

  1. Don’t get involved with anyone else

When you’re divorced, new marriages are good. The introduction of a third party into an already bad situation only worsens the situation. If you had an affair out of fear of being lonely until you divorce then you have to live with your fear of being alone rather than binding yourself to someone different only to avoid having to confront your anxiety.

Going outside of your marriage for solutions to marital issues just intensifies the difficulties and compromises the decision until the bottom falls and you are unable to choose between the family and your spouse in the affair.

  1. Don’t leave an unhappy relationship until you can comfortably take care of yourself

Alimony is not guaranteed these days and even if it is, child support and alimony will not provide you and your children with a proper lifestyle in case you divorce Dream about building up your own house before considering divorce.

When you do not have marketable job skills or require your career to stay at home and raise your children, you will not divorce until you have taken the required steps to be completely financially stable after the divorce.

About Author:

For any children’s concerns, including support and parenting, or other divorce problems, people in and around San Bernardino and Riverside Counties know just which family law lawyer to call first. The Divorce attorney in San Bernardino is committed to supporting every client that comes to their place.

Common Types of Family Law Case

Family is the most important thing in the world, and this ensures that any issues that occur are of great concern to everyone in the family. This is where the Los Angeles Family Law Lawyer steps in and tries to resolve any breakdowns as friendly as possible.

Disputes relating to family law are dealt with in the civil court system, which allows two people to settle their differences before a judge. Family law cases will deal with domestic issues and are usually between spouses and parents, whether it solves issues between them or about their children.

Read on for more information on the common problems that may arise in family law cases and how they are handled in court.

  1. Divorce

When a parent decides to dissolve their relationship, different things have to be sorted outout. They need to arrive at an agreement to share debts and assets. If they have kids, they must decide who gets their custody. When a divorcing couple is unable to reach an agreement, they can file a case in a family court.

The statues of family law define the rules of asset distribution, child custody, and spousal and child support. Los Angeles Divorce Attorney statues define asset distribution rules, child custody rules, and spousal and child support rules.

  1. Adoption

Family law has different regulations relating to adoption. These regulations were incorporated to ensure the best interests of the adopted child. A couple or individual wishing to adopt a child must abide by these regulations. Adopting a child entails lengthy paperwork which can lead to delays. Adopters must consider hiring a family law attorney to comply with various guidelines and complete the paperwork swiftly.

  1. Child Support

Cases relating to child support shall be brought to court if there are disagreements about the amount that a parent should contribute or if they have failed to keep up with payments. Child support is required if a child is under 18 years of age or up to 20 years of age if he or she is not high school graduates, which means they are dependent on their parents.

Payments include food, clothing, medical care or education aid for a child. A family law court is in a position to issue an order setting out child support requirements to resolve the disputes.

  1. Protection orders

In cases of domestic violence, victims who feel threatened and worry that the aggressor may attempt to physically harm them can file a petition in court to appeal to pass a restraining order.

Depending on the circumstances the restraining order may be temporary or permanent. Restraining orders restrict contact between the aggressor and the aggrieved party. The victim may have them arrested if the aggressor violates the restraining order.

  1. Child custody

Child custody in divorce cases can be a contentious issue. If the couple can’t decide who will be able to keep the child, then the court will intervene. Family court’s presiding over child custody cases take various factors to come to a conclusion, such as both the income of the parents, the needs of the child and the physical and mental health of the parents.

  1. Paternity:

In most cases the mother lodges paternity cases in an effort to secure child support payments from an absent father. But biological fathers sometimes file for paternity so they can have a relationship with their child. Typically paternity is determined by DNA testing.

However, in many jurisdictions, there are a variety of rules and time constraints that may deny the inheritance rights of a deceased father’s biological children. Family courts help you to solve this kind of issues and cases.

A Family Law Study

A Family Law StudyThere are several other types of Family Law. One factor remains the same though. Cases relating to family law typically involve more emotion than others.

Issues such as divorce and custody of children are high on stake. You could be overwhelmed if you find yourself in the middle of a family issue. Each state has specific legislation that can affect the outcome of your case. Having an experienced and skilled Los Angeles Family Law Lawyer will mean you can deal with any of these common family law issues when they occur. If you have any family law questions, you should talk to a lawyer who has experience in the niche.


Michael L. Whitmarsh is the Principal Attorney at Whitmarsh Family Law, PC. He is considered amongst the  Los Angeles Divorce Lawyers, with her prime focus areas being Family Law including Divorce, Child Custody and Paternity Modifications. Whitmarsh is highly passionate about her cases and understands her clients’ requirements with patience to come up with the most apt solution to embark on their journey to another chapter in their life.

Smart Divorce Network Contributor

How Divorced Parents Handle Custody and Coronavirus


Parents around the U.S. are advised to practice social distancing, avoiding travel and grouping social conditions to help lower the chances of Coronavirus catching and spreading. But determining whether to deal with COVID-19 based quarantines can be difficult for parents who are separated and transfer their kids between two households as part of a custody agreement.

When millions of people around the world practice social isolation and self-quarantine, they isolate themselves from all of their immediate family members. Nevertheless, the concept of “immediate family” is not clear for divorced or separated parents who share custody of their children.

Under normal circumstances, co-parenting is full of challenges. It is twice as difficult to try to maintain a stable family relationship with your ex during a global pandemic.

Below are some tips on how to co-parent during this global health crisis

  1. Be flexible

Many parents are out of work, some work at home and others in fields such as health care and other essential services face long, erratic hours. With all this upheaval, it’s really important to play nice with your ex.

If you are living with a high-conflict partner who wants clear boundaries and laws, the name of the game during the COVID-19 pandemic is compromised and working together for the wellbeing of the children and your own safety.

Most of the children still feel nervous and anxious. Getting their parent’s problem-solving and becoming a cohesive team would make all the difference with the way they’re moving through this crisis.

  1. Be prepared to modify child support in the cases of a job loss

Many parents are currently making child support modifications due to widespread job loss. If this is something you like to do, have some formal arrangement with your ex.

When you are unable to agree, consider filing a petition with the court to maintain the right to change the amount of compensation you are paying back to the date your income reached.

If you need to have this discussion with your ex, approach it as compassionately as possible.

  1. Think twice before sending the fiery message

Maybe don’t send the angry text about the trip that your ex took right before your condition got worse. Think about how you say statements, how they are going to be interpreted, how they are going to be preserved for future litigation.

Regardless of how right you are, the other person is suffering too. We all do. Fear of the unknown creates tension and now is the time that you could use your support and reassurance to the person you want to have a child with.

  1. Get the custody arrangement modified in writing

Since so many working lives are upended, some exes agree to terms that are somewhat different from those set out in their custody agreements. When you are changing your custody agreement, consider getting it in writing, particularly when you think your ex would benefit from the parenting plan that has been updated since the outbreak.

  1. When you and your ex are at odds about who has the children. Then follow your court orders. But if one parent is allowed to have COVID-19, then behave fairly

Don’t risk the children being subjected to COVID-19 just to follow the custody plan. If you and your children are exposed to the virus, be vigilant with your husband, share the details and, if possible, keep the children until you are certain they are not sick or carriers.

  1. Be Generous

Try to give the parent that missed out makeup time, if at all possible. Family law judges require fair compromise where it is practicable to do so and should consider seriously the questions posed in future complaints regarding parents who are unyielding in highly rare situations.

  1. Be Creative

Around the same time, it will be foolish to think that nothing would change when people are told not to travel and to shutter holiday destinations like theme parks, museums and movie centers around the world.

Additionally, some parents will have to work additional hours to help cope with the crisis and other parents may be out of work or work for a while. Plans always need to adjust. Encourage closeness to the adult who does not see the infant by mutual books, videos, sports, or Skype.


About Author: 

At Smoak Law, P.C., our Family Law Lawyer in Salt Lake City insists on the specific interests of each of our clients while presenting a family law situation. The choices taken in our law offices will impact the rest of your life, so it’s vital to our family law firm that we find the best result possible for your full family law requirements.

Our divorce attorney in Salt Lake City will lead the way by offering the legal advice you need to push your new life forward.

4 Things You Must Consider Before a Divorce


Legal separation is a complicated and enormous ordeal for both spouses. Women often express themselves emotionally and find solace among their friends and family members.

But for a man, finding emotional support can be difficult. Since a divorce might drain you emotionally, physically, and financially, there are things a man must consider before taking the hard decision.

Let’s take a look at the critical aspects of a divorce you must consider before starting out the process.

Things to Consider Before Filing for Divorce

Here are a few aspects worth considering before you file for a divorce:

  1. Is this fixable

If you are the one initiating the divorce talk, it might serve you better to look at the situation differently.

If you are enraged by something your spouse did, pause for a while before acting on your anger. A divorce should be the last resort, not the first step.

You could consider the idea of seeing a marriage counselor solve internal conflicts with professional guidance. A divorce separates a family and proves to be a disaster, especially for the kids.

Therefore, it might be better to check if you and your spouse can work things out with a marriage counselor. If you are not the one bringing the subject to the table, try to steer the conversation away from divorce to how the situation can be solved.

  1. Finances

It’s critical for you to know that the divorce process sucks out money from both spouses. In many situations, the man is the sole breadwinner for their family. If that’s not true for you, make sure to gather as much information about your family finances as possible.

Collect and organize copies of tax returns, bank account statements, investment accounts, credit card statements, and anything that’s an asset or a liability.

The more you know about your family’s financial standing, the better off you’d be in case you decide to go through with a divorce.

Having a clear picture of your finances will also help you both understand what assets and liability you share and how much you would want to spend on your divorce-related expenses.

  1. Self-care

Many men who undergo divorce find themselves relationship hopping, couch surfing, and living in uncomfortable conditions. These habits can cause an onslaught of low self-esteem and depression.

Therefore, before you make the hard decision of separating with your partner, ensure you prioritize your health and wellbeing.

Make it a point to find yourself a comfortable, safe, and secure place, so you have your basic needs met. Set up a routine to take care of your hygiene, food, and sleep- even if you have to force yourself to go through these on some days.

A little self-care will also make you proactive through the divorce process, keeping your head clear about what outcomes mean the most to you.

  1. Child custody

Before filing for divorce, consider what child custody arrangement would work best for you and your spouse. Would you want to share joint custody of your child? Keep track of how much time you spend with your kids versus your spouse.

More and more cases these days end up with both spouses sharing joint custody of their kids or fathers winning primary custody.

This is an important factor to consider before you file for divorce. Custody arguments can get rough during the divorce stage. So this might be the best time for you and your spouse to consider what the ideal arrangement might look like.

It’s also important to look at the situation practically and not try to ‘get back at your spouse’ through your kids. Look at what would be the best outcome for the overall wellbeing of your kids and act accordingly or consult a family law lawyer.

Considering these issues before filing for divorce can help you make an informed decision and navigate a divorce process well. Setting out on the process right also means you will be able to resume your life quicker and better.

How a Private Investigator can Help your Divorce Case

Divorce Case

Divorce Case

Going through a divorce is a tough experience for any couple, and difficulties are compounded when children or other dependent relatives are involved. Regardless of fault, it is usually the case that there are disagreements over the events that caused or contributed to the divorce, the procedure for actually obtaining the divorce, and the practicalities of separating assets and liabilities. While these occurrences would, in any case, present difficulties for a divorcing couple, they can be made worse by not having accurate information. When the truth can mean a party has to pay considerable sums of money or surrender access to children, it is unsurprising that divorce case proceedings are wrought with fabrications and misrepresentations. 

Fortunately, there are ways of addressing these challenges head-on, meaning an equitable and appropriate settlement is within reach for divorcing couples no matter how bitter the initial proceedings. Private investigators (PIs) – also known as private detectives or inquiry agents in some jurisdictions – can be hired to set the record straight.

Unhappy couple going through break-up


What do PIs do in a Divorce case?

PIs are highly-trained individuals who seek out, verify, and analyze information on practically any topic using a range of specialist techniques, including surveillance, interrogation, fact-finding, and public records searches. Many PIs are contracted by law firms, newspapers, and other groups with investigative needs, but individuals are also able to hire PIs for personal or business matters. Divorce case is a common domain for PIs, and their clandestine and confidential nature is often one of the main attractions of hiring them.

For the most part, divorce involves personal matters – such as infidelity, domestic violence, and deceit – but PIs are usually such well-rounded and skilled individuals that they can be instructed to investigate a whole range of matters, including complex financial and business issues that might be relevant to a divorce. 

Some of their core activities in relation to divorces include:

  • Gathering Evidence of Allegations

When filing for divorce, one or both spouses must specify whether there is a fault at issue. A fault divorce is one whereby blame for the divorce is assigned owing to the actions or inactions of one or the other party. Of the traditional fault grounds, the allegation of cruelty (inflicting physical or emotional pain) is the most common, but others include adultery, desertion, imprisonment, and sexual dysfunction that was not disclosed prior to marriage. In each of these cases, a judge will require evidence of the alleged fault. This is where PIs come in.

Gathering evidence of fault without the assistance of a PI is rarely recommended, as it could put one or both of the spouses in a dangerous position and the techniques employed could affect the outcome of the legal case in unpredictable ways. PIs are used to managing the risks associated with investigating the fault and they carry out their investigations in such a way as to comply with applicable evidence laws. 

  • Ascertaining Means for Child Support

Divorce brings out a side to many spouses that the other has never seen. Nowhere is this tendency more common than in relation to the making available of assets and financial information for child support. 

Often, a deep distrust of the other spouse means that one will seek to hide or obscure the true value of assets, delay salary or bonus payments, and misrepresent income so as to lower any legally-mandated child support payment. Through surveillance or complex financial analysis, PIs expertly locate the true figures involved in these situations. Their work can better ensure that reporting is fair and accurate so that one spouse is not left with any undue financial burdens when it comes to supporting a child.

  • Investigating Suitability for Child Custody

It is not only the financial aspects of a child’s care that are at issue during divorce proceedings. More often than not, the events that lead up to the divorce indicate to one or both spouses that the other presents an issue for the child’s welfare. This is especially the case where infidelity or alcohol/drug use is suspected, as the accused may not be available to care properly for the child. 

Hands of unrecognizable sad man and woman holding torn picture of couple in love. Ended relationship. Crying.Valentines day composition. Studio shot on brown wooden background.


These are very serious concerns that have implications not only for the divorce but also for the individuals involved should any criminality – such as child neglect or abuse – be discovered. Again, PIs are able to find and, importantly, verify information about any such activities and relay that back to legal teams who are then positioned to put protective measures in place for the child, whether that be a complete denial or a restriction of custody, or a form of supervised parenting time. 

  • Conducting Searches into Assets

Rarely is it the case that assets and liabilities are divided in such a way that neither spouse contends the split. Whether there are debates over mortgage contributions and car payments or business values and inheritances, PIs are able to uncover financial information from a range of sources. Using this information, lawyers are able to put together more accurate and fairer plans for the division of assets upon granting of the divorce, which ultimately means a more amicable settlement and lowers legal fees. 

PIs are especially useful in cases where one or both spouses suspect that assets are being hidden. It is, unfortunately, quite common for one or both spouses to try to shield their assets from the divorce proceedings so as not to lose them in any eventual settlements or awards. 


With divorce rates on the increase in countries all over the globe, couples will continue to face a whole host of difficulties when choosing to end their marriage. The good news is that hiring a Private Investigator is one way of reducing the stress and turmoil caused by divorce, not least because it means that all parties – spouses and their legal teams – can enter into the proceedings with more accurate information. From the discovery of hidden assets to gathering evidence of infidelity, PIs bring to light difficult or unknown issues in a way that few other professionals can.

How And When To Hire The Best Family Lawyer?

Family Lawyer

Family matters are often sensitive matters. They are not just some feuds between people but with someone close to your heart. Sometimes delinquency of any one family member turns to be unacceptable which compels hiring a lawyer. Family lawyers play a vital role in managing everything from legal paperwork to the grueling case documents.

You need a lawyer when you see that you are facing some legal family problems like divorce, property issues, custody, etc. Seeing and choosing a good lawyer could be a time-consuming experience.  These guidelines mentioned below can assist to find you an experienced family lawyer.

Make a List

Checking the profile of the lawyer is very important to know who is suitable to handle your case. For that first, make a list and see which family lawyers are available in your area. When you are appointing a family lawyer, there is personal and official information that you need to share with them. Initially, it is necessary to find out their qualifications and experiences, then allow the lawyer to make legal strategies.  

Look for the family lawyer Experience: 

Relating to family matters a professional lawyer is a primary requirement. But when it comes to legal family issues, it is necessary that you talk to a person who has years of experience. Family lawyers who have experience working in this field would be able to win the argument with bigger shots at success. A family lawyer who has already interacted, dealt with different family issues solved their problems successfully would be able to provide you with realistic and acceptable solutions. 


Always check whether the lawyer would be available whenever required for the case proceedings. Lastly, you do not want a lawyer who has too much on their table, making it impossible to provide you with quality time and leading to delay in the management of the legal family issues. A good lawyer always gives you time and listens to all your conversations to make sure that they have enough evidences. This increases your caches to win a case. Choose family lawyers who have enough time for consultations and would be there for you when required. 


Before you decide whom to choose as your family lawyer, it is crucial to know if their fees or charges are at a nominal rate. Some family lawyers would charge fees as per seating while some would do it per month. Once you are done with the background check, qualification, experience, and consultation, see whether you would be able to afford them based on their charges.

Experienced family lawyers often ask for high pay because of their experiences and the number of won cases on family issues. A comparative study of lawyer charges is necessary for respect of experiences.  Based on the research you will get an idea regarding which family lawyer would you be able to afford, and which one would be unaffordable. 


One should check the eligibility of the lawyer if he/she has the certificate of representing in legal family issues. Providing you with valid law practicing certificate are important. Certificates can provide you an idea about the area of expertise field of the lawyer. As professional and qualified, family lawyers will be able to place appropriate arguments, in front of the court.

If you want, then meet them personally and decide regarding them. The lawyer should always fulfill the requirement, so see whether they are suitable for you or not. 

Conclusion on family lawyer 

This how you get the best family lawyer for yourself. Make sure that you are open with them regarding all your problems so that they can collect enough evidences to proof and help you win the case.


About author: I am Anna Wrench, a knowledgeable and qualified blogger. Here you can see my skills which give you brief ideas on understanding the concepts of “How And When To Hire The Best Family Lawyer?”. I adore writing a blog on many topics, like Home Improvement, Automotive, Business, Health, Lifestyle, Entertainment, Pet, etc. 

Things men do when they want a divorce


Are you concern about your husband recent behavior? Do you feel like recently you and your husband aren’t getting along much? Are you worried that your husband might be considering divorce?

If you are feeling any of these signs mentioned above and looking for answers, this article is for you. Below we will mention few signs that a man gives when he is considering getting a divorce.

You start arguing about everything big or small!

No matter where in the world you are, arguing too much about everything regardless of how big or small it may be, means that things aren’t going too well with you and your spouse. No need to be panicked though! Every married couple argues at times, but there is a difference between regular average arguments and serious insulting ones. When your partner starts getting into serious relationship damaging arguments often frequently without feeling much remorse later, that means your partner is losing his sense of care for your feelings. This is the first sign that can indicate a broken relationship leading towards divorce.

He isn’t willing to meet you halfway when you’re trying to resolve your conflicts.

If it comes to a point where your husband is no longer interested in finding a solution to your problems and refusing to communicate. This is a clear sign that he is no longer interested in making things work for you and maybe looking for a way out.

This often happens when one person in the relationship starts getting the impression that arguing isn’t fixing anything anymore and wants to just give up. This type of behavior directly indicate that your partner is fed up with you and thinks he can never live with you in peace; therefore they choose not to argue and just do whatever they feel like without thinking how it will affect you.

Lack of physical and emotional affection

Another common sign is when someone is purposely resenting you. Staying visibly distant and not showing any physical or emotional affection towards you can be a very direct sign that your husband has lost interest in you and is considering a way out. If you are seeing such behavioral changes in your spouse, it’s time to have a detailed chat with him regarding these circumstances. Usually, people don’t confront their spouse until it’s too late and the relation is already too far gone and broken. Lack of physical affection for men is a very rare thing and only happens when he is seriously considering a separation.

When your marriage become sexless.

Lack of sexual activity between couples can be a warning sign of other bigger issues in your relationship. If you find yourself continuously losing fondness for each other, it’s just a matter of time before sex will disappear from your marriage as well. A marriage without sex isn’t a healthy marriage, regardless of whether the sex is missing because of low sex drive or fading attracting between couples. No sex will always lead to separation. If you find your husband trying to avoid any sort of sexual activity with you, it means he has not attracted to you anymore and will most likely consider getting a divorce.

He is avoiding spending time with you

If your husband is spending too much time outside and isn’t seem much interested in spending time with you. This can indicate your husband isn’t happy spending time at home and with you. Men usually go distant when they are sick and tired of their female partner and think there isn’t anything that can be done about it. If you find your husband getting too distant, it means he is not happy with your company or doesn’t feel comfortable having you around. Such behavioral changes can later lead to cheating, no sex, and other issues in a marriage which will ultimately lead to a divorce.

The signs mentioned above aren’t the concluding word. Your situation can very well be different. According to an article written on Help with Dissertations, we suggest seeing a marriage counselor right when to start noticing your husband isn’t as happy as he once was. These are just warning sign to help you indicate whether your marriage is coming to an end.