SmartDivorceNetwork

Smart Divorce Network is a blogger-based community that gives divorce professionals a unique platform to share insights and knowledge. Smart Divorce Network is the leading destination for smart divorce discussions between peers. You can share your thought and/or your articles here.

How to survive without the internet on vacation

internet

Believe it or not, the internet has not always existed! For those of you too young to know a time without internet and for the rest of you who have simply forgotten, it is not only possible but also desirable to learn how to survive without access to the internet.

It takes energy to not get frustrated by the negative we see in the world. To shake up your life

Sometimes, a life that is peaceful, calm and uneventful can unexpectedly end up feeling stressed. You might feel a void because you’re not accomplishing anything new. You might start feeling worried about your current situation and wonder what disaster is around the corner. To shake up your life.

Even if the outcome isn’t exactly like you anticipated. As outlined in this article on how to conquer fear and make a change, going after something new is as much about the process as it is the result anyway but result.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love.

It’s up to you to improve your outlook on life, and on the world in general. In doing so, you’ll put yourself in a better position to make the world a better place.

It takes energy to not get frustrated by the negative we see in the world. It can leave you exhausted if you pay too much attention to it.

Spending quality time together is very important

quality time

A strong family finds that opportunities for quality time emerge from quantity time: The more time you spend together, the better chance you have of sharing quality experiences. Eating meals together, talking about the events of the day, sharing joys and defeats.

It takes energy to not get frustrated by the negative we see in the world. To shake up your life

Sometimes, a life that is peaceful, calm and uneventful can unexpectedly end up feeling stressed. You might feel a void because you’re not accomplishing anything new. You might start feeling worried about your current situation and wonder what disaster is around the corner. To shake up your life.

Even if the outcome isn’t exactly like you anticipated. As outlined in this article on how to conquer fear and make a change, going after something new is as much about the process as it is the result anyway but result.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love.

It’s up to you to improve your outlook on life, and on the world in general. In doing so, you’ll put yourself in a better position to make the world a better place.

It takes energy to not get frustrated by the negative we see in the world. It can leave you exhausted if you pay too much attention to it.

That will happen when you wake up two hours earlier for a month

wake up

Some of the most successful people in the world wake up early. I’m not talking about regular time. I mean so early that the average person is still fast asleep.

It takes energy to not get frustrated by the negative we see in the world. To shake up your life

Sometimes, a life that is peaceful, calm and uneventful can unexpectedly end up feeling stressed. You might feel a void because you’re not accomplishing anything new. You might start feeling worried about your current situation and wonder what disaster is around the corner. To shake up your life.

Even if the outcome isn’t exactly like you anticipated. As outlined in this article on how to conquer fear and make a change, going after something new is as much about the process as it is the result anyway but result.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love.

It’s up to you to improve your outlook on life, and on the world in general. In doing so, you’ll put yourself in a better position to make the world a better place.

It takes energy to not get frustrated by the negative we see in the world. It can leave you exhausted if you pay too much attention to it.

Floating Speakers, Neckbrace Audio, and Charming Caffeine Fixes

time of year

I am not a fan of cold weather. I tend to chase the forecast when I can, and find sanctuary in the warmth of the sun. Yet, I am keenly aware of how damn happy this time of year makes me. There is a reason why “it’s the most wonderful time of year.”

It takes energy to not get frustrated by the negative we see in the world. To shake up your life

Sometimes, a life that is peaceful, calm and uneventful can unexpectedly end up feeling stressed. You might feel a void because you’re not accomplishing anything new. You might start feeling worried about your current situation and wonder what disaster is around the corner. To shake up your life.

Even if the outcome isn’t exactly like you anticipated. As outlined in this article on how to conquer fear and make a change, going after something new is as much about the process as it is the result anyway but result.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love.

It’s up to you to improve your outlook on life, and on the world in general. In doing so, you’ll put yourself in a better position to make the world a better place.

It takes energy to not get frustrated by the negative we see in the world. It can leave you exhausted if you pay too much attention to it.

Realistic life hacks for saving money on your wardrobe

altruistic

There are so many articles out there telling you how to save money and cut corners. However, half the time the advice is so altruistic it would take you months, if not years, to completely change how you interact with the world.

It takes energy to not get frustrated by the negative we see in the world. To shake up your life

Sometimes, a life that is peaceful, calm and uneventful can unexpectedly end up feeling stressed. You might feel a void because you’re not accomplishing anything new. You might start feeling worried about your current situation and wonder what disaster is around the corner. To shake up your life.

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Even if the outcome isn’t exactly like you anticipated. As outlined in this article on how to conquer fear and make a change, going after something new is as much about the process as it is the result anyway but result.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love.

It’s up to you to improve your outlook on life, and on the world in general. In doing so, you’ll put yourself in a better position to make the world a better place.

It takes energy to not get frustrated by the negative we see in the world. It can leave you exhausted if you pay too much attention to it.

9 Steps to Recovering from a Break-Up

break-up

If you love someone with all of your might, you are also that close to having a massive heartbreak. If you’ve recently broken up with someone whom you’ve given all your heart to, it can be the most earth shattering experience you can ever have. Even if it’s you’re 2nd, 3rd, or 4th heartbreak, nothing is ever easy when it’s your heart that’s being stabbed.

There’s not one sure solution to mending a broken heart, nor is there a pill that can make you recover overnight after a break-up. The road to recovery is a long and sometimes, very difficult journey to take. But once you do get out of that dark shadow, you’ll look back at the moment with a bittersweet understanding that break-ups are oftentimes blessings in disguise.

Here are 9 steps to recovering from a break-up:

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1. Cry

Yes, it hurts. It feels like your heart is being ripped off your chest. It feels like the world is out to get you when all you’ve ever done is love this person. Cry your heart out and feel all the hurt you’re feeling. Take an hour or an entire day, close your room, and just let it all out. Tears are the body’s way of unloading our pain – without it, all that hurt will be trapped inside without you being able to let it go. So use your tears, cry a river and just grieve whatever it is that you lost.

2. Talk to your family or friends

Look for that one person whom you know will listen and understand you. Ask that person to take some time off work or whatever it is they’re doing so you can talk to them. Go to that person and say everything that you are feeling. Tell your sister or your best friend how much your heart hurts, how this person has done you wrong, and how you feel like it’s the end of the world. It’s important to have someone whom you can pour your entire heart to – so tell this person every single thing that you’re feeling and don’t keep your emotions bottled up.

It’s important that you also get a different perspective of what’s happening to you. Since you’re the one who’s hurt, you can’t really see the big picture of your circumstance. Your friends or family see you out of your bubble, and they’ll be able to give you a different view of what you’re going through.

3. Write

If talking to your friends or family isn’t enough, then write down all your thoughts and emotions. If you want to say mean things to your ex, then write it down. Or if you play the guitar, make an angry song. Or if you paint, then paint your emotions. Catharsis is very important in recovering from a break – up, so write, or sing it out, or paint the darkest images you can paint.

4. Take Care of Yourself

So you’ve cried a river, talked to your friends about it, and let the pain out through creative means. Now it’s time you take care of yourself. Get a massage and let a stranger give you a relaxing experience. If you’re on a diet, have a cheat day and eat the most scrumptious cake you can get your hands on. Buy yourself a new pair of shoes, or clothes, or a new phone. Relax and take your mind off the hurt by taking care of you and you alone.

5. Do Something You’ve Always Wanted To Do

Once you’ve cried it out and let all the hurt out of your system, the next emotion you may be having is anger. For so many months or years, you gave this person all of your time and love, only to have that person shatter it into small little pieces. So get that anger out and do something your ex has always stopped you from doing. If your ex hated Karaoke, then sing your heart out at a Karaoke bar tonight. If your ex stopped you from getting a Master’s degree, then it’s about time you enrolled! Does your ex hate jazz? Then by all means, go to a jazz club and actually enjoy it! By the end of the day, you’ll sure to have a big smile on your face.

6. Do Something New

Okay, so you’ve made your ex angry (in your mind). Now it’s time to do something new. Does the sight of people playing frisbee at the park interest you? Then why don’t you give it a try? Or enroll in a French cooking class. By exposing yourself to new experiences and being around new people, you are rewiring your brain into thinking you are actually in an entirely different world from the one that guts your heart.

7. Stay Away from Things and Places that Remind You of Your Ex – For a While

For the first few days or even weeks, it’s healthy on your heart to stay away from places you and your ex frequented. It could be a favorite restaurant, the place where you first met, or even your own apartment. You can stay at your parents’ or a friends’ place for the meantime, just until the initial blow of the break-up has passed. But after a while, gradually expose yourself to all the places and all the things that remind you of your ex. Slowly visit the places and slowly listen to the songs again – disassociate these things and places from your ex gradually, so you can start to move forward.

8. Go Out

Once the pain subsides, well, it probably won’t for a while. But once you can face the world without crying at the mere thought of your ex, then it’s time to live a little and go out. Go out with your friends for lunch, or go to a party. Enjoy yourself and the company of those who love you and use this time to meet new people. Don’t pressure yourself into jumping into another relationship – use this time to enjoy being single and meet people on the side. It’s always healthy to flirt but don’t take it seriously – just yet.

9. Learn the Lessons You Are Supposed to Make

In each and every experience, there is always a lesson that you can take from it. If you say you did everything right, then it may be time to ask yourself why you didn’t see the heartbreak coming. Maybe you trusted too much or you ignored the red flags – which is something that you have to learn if and when you get into another relationship. Always take the lessons with you and use it so you can make better decisions in the future.

Break-ups are difficult every single time. But you don’t have to wallow in your misery forever – by using these tips, you can alleviate the pain and maybe even move forward faster than you think. They key to recovery after a break-up is to process the pain, surround yourself with social support, take care of yourself and be happy, and lastly, to learn the lessons and use them.

Grounding Techniques Help Kids From A Broken Home Feel Safer And Stronger

grounding techniques

Divorce can feel like an earthquake, shaking the very foundations of a child’s life. Nothing feels sure anymore and she has nowhere to turn to anchor herself. Grounding techniques can give a child from a broken home a way to cope when things feel so detached. Simple to do anywhere, in moments they can help with anxiety, confusion and feeling adrift.

A kind of meditation that incorporates solid items in a child’s surroundings, memory recall, or reassurances, grounding techniques will help her turn from her emotional pain to her simple surroundings. It can be used any time life feels out of control, whether at school, in a new home, or even at the mall. In addition to helping recover from emotional overload, these techniques can help build a sense of control and security that kids from a broken home often don’t have.

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Basic Grounding Techniques

There are four steps to any grounding technique:

  1. Open your eyes. Make sure the room is well-lit if indoors.
  2. Stand or sit solidly. Note your level of emotion on a scale from 1 to 10.
  3. Perform the grounding exercise, whether mental, physical, or self-soothing.
  4. Note your emotional level once again, from 1 to 10.

Mental Grounding

Children from a broken home can mentally ground using something in their room or wherever they are feeling emotional distress. A picture, doll, even just the door or classroom windows will work. They should pick something that won’t evoke more emotions. Next, they should describe, out loud if possible, how many panels or panes there are, what color the door or window is, and any other concrete details. If the object is a picture or a doll, the child should systematically describe the details she sees such as colors, features, decorations and background details. The technique can also work by recalling an everyday activity step-by-step, or counting very slowly and deliberately.

Physical Grounding

Much of the stress from a broken home is from the high level of emotions. A physical grounding technique can be particularly effective since it distracts the mind quickly. Have the child simply squeeze her hands and unsqueeze them, using rubber stress balls if she has them. Tell her to eat something tasty, and then observe each flavor without thinking of anything else. She can also bounce up and down rhythmically, or put her hand into cool or warm water. Carrying a grounding object, like a small stone or toy, in her pocket that she can hold and focus on will help also.

Self-Soothing Grounding

It’s hard to feel grown-up in a broken home; sometimes even teens just feel like a little kid again. That’s the time for self-soothing grounding techniques, where they are giving peace to themselves when they feel small and upset. Thinking of their favorite place, somewhere they feel safe and secure, they will calm down. They can remember a favorite color, food, season or type of animal, or recite a poem or sing a song that they love. Remind them to think of something good that they are looking forward to in the next week or two. In a broken home, there can be lots of frightening noise and actions. When things feel really rough, remind them that they can simply tell themselves that it’s only temporary, reassuring themselves with “it’s going to be ok” or “you are a good person” and “this will be over soon and you’ll feel ok again.”

How Grounding Helps

Grounding interrupts emotions that are starting to overwhelm your child. It’s like sending a train down a different track. Her mind will let go of the emotional overload in order to perform the grounding exercise, and the strong emotion will fade. Broken homes often have a lot of fear which children can carry out into the world, and these techniques will help make the world a less scary place by helping to manage emotions.

Give It Time

When a child first starts trying grounding, it might take a while to work. Especially if the broken home environment is still chaotic, she may have to practice for a while to focus on the technique. That’s ok; it might take ten or twenty minutes at first. There are many different techniques so that each child can pick her own favorite, so have her try several and see which ones work best. Depending on the situation, certain grounding techniques might work better for one type of emotion or another, too, such as anger and rage or sadness and grief.

Adults And Kids Can Ground Together

Kids from broken homes are sometimes alone and need to take care of their own difficult emotions using grounding. Parents can practice grounding techniques for their own use, and sometimes use them with kids for support. Encourage the child to use a technique, and demonstrate it to show that it is easy to do. The child may be skeptical since emotions can feel so powerful, but watching a parent calmly ground herself can reassure the child that grounding works.

Keep Using Grounding Into Adulthood

Childhood memories of a broken home can be powerful, even for adults. Whenever old memories and feelings come up, whether they come from the past bubbling up or some present-day memory that triggers feelings, just go ahead and ground. In an office or on the train, there are always ways to quietly do a mental, physical, or even self-soothing grounding technique. For adults who are part of a divorce, these techniques can be especially helpful as they experience strong feelings and still must meet their responsibilities.

Even Young Kids Can Do It

It can be harder to teach very young children how to handle their emotions when they are growing up in a broken home. They may not be able to identify them, but they can learn the grounding habits. When the child shows strong feelings and begins to cry and express them, an adult can help by providing something that catches the child’s attention and interest. Most children will follow their curiosity to notice the object and the details, and eventually their emotional state may change.

Preventive Grounding

If an emotional state hasn’t yet arisen, it’s still useful to practice grounding if the likelihood of one is high. A reminder of the broken home or some stress-or in it might automatically produce strong emotions. As soon you notice the situation, encourage the child, in a peaceful way, to practice her grounding.

A broken home is a source of confusion, loss, stress and fear for many children. Having a powerful tool like grounding ready to use can help kids to cool down when emotions start to rise. Parents can use it too, helping to prevent painful feelings and conflicts as they try to rebuild their lives.

How Divorce Affects Children And How You Can Reduce These Affects

How Divorce Affects Children

Divorce is one of the most difficult obstacles your child will face.  It has been proven that fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce.  How divorce affects children is different with every family because the parent plays a large role in how the children are affected. Here is a list of emotions your children can face and how you can help them pass through them.

They Feel Lonely

After a divorce, your children can feel lonely. Make sure to spend time with them. Give them as much time as they need.

They Are Always Sad

If you see your children are sad, comfort them. Make them feel we are there for them.

They Tell On Parent One Thing And The Other Parent A Different Thing

If your children are telling you one thing and telling to the another parent another thing, it could be possible they feel in the middle of both. Please don’t put them in the middle of you and the other parent.

They gain weight

Do you noticed your children are gaining weight? Check the food they are eating and teach them good habits.

I hope you learned something from the article How Divorce Affects Children. Do you noticed other type of emotions in your children? Please name them in the comment box below.

 

5 Tips for Dating a Divorced Woman

dating a divorced woman

You decide to get back in the dating pool and you realize that most of the women you have an interest in are divorced.  Dating a divorced woman brings a new level of complexity to your dating situation.  Here are some suggestions that will help you through this new adventure of dating a divorced woman

1. Give her some space

When you start dating a divorced woman, you will need to value her personal space and be careful when entering into her space.  Divorce is rarely a positive experience.  It may take her a little more time than most to feel comfortable around you and comfortable letting you in her space.

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2. Emphasize your strong traits

The divorced woman will know exactly what she is looking for in a man.  The first time around did not work for a reason.  She will have a list of “must haves” in her mind, and it will be better for both of you to know right away if you have these traits she is looking for.

3. Let her dictate the pace of the relationship

You will want to be cautious of how fast you make your moves when dating a divorced woman.  She is most likely looking for a mate that will fit her needs, and will take her time making sure that her needs are met.  Do not move too quickly, because to her, you will be invading her personal space.  She just might not be comfortable with her new dating situation and may need more time.  You will notice when it is time to pick up the pace.

4. Be a gentleman when dating a divorced woman

If you decide to start dating a divorced woman, you will need to show her that you are a gentleman.  If you do not open the door for her and treat her like a woman deserves to be treated, you will need to start.  It will be these small things that will help your relationship going forward.

5. Make sure she is grounded

Prior to dating a divorced woman, you need to ask her enough questions until you know that she is grounded.  A lot of divorced woman will start dating even though they are not over their ex.  If you are dating a divorced woman that is not grounded, it will most likely end up in failure.

You will find these 5 tips useful when dating a divorced woman.  If you follow these suggestions your dating experience will have a good chance at success.  Remember if you do not act like a gentleman, now is a good time to start because it will help you open up her personal space and speed up the pace of the relationship.  Dating a divorced woman has its challenges, but it will all be worth it in the end if you happen to find your soul mate.

Step Parent – From Frustration to Love

step parent

Almost a year ago I went from being single to married with two step kidsDivorce affects children tremendously.  These affects can be the cause of frustration.  But if you keep in mind what the kids went through, you will have a better understanding and be a great step parent.

Step Parent Frustration

One of the frustrations a step parent can experience is the fact that the step child does not know how to act in public with his or her new step parent.  For example, when at home everyone gets along and does activities together, but in public the child may ignore the step parent and keep a distance.  The reason is because being in public is a less frequent occurrence when compared to being at home in private.  As with anything new practice is needed or in this case just feeling comfortable with this new situation.  After time the child will feel more and more comfortable and frustration will lessen.

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Fun and Excitement

The definition of fun and excitement itself will change, especially if the new step parent does not have kids.  If the kids are in sports you will now get to follow some new sports teams.  This can be more fun and exciting than watching a professional team. When at home there will be some new activities that you will enjoy with the kids.  For example, tetherball, a game you never thought you would play, you might be playing it every night.  Fun and excitement will change from grown up fun to kid fun.

Love and Happiness

It does take a little time for the kids to gain your trust as a step parent, but if you treat the kids with respect, they WILL eventually fall in love with you.  You will also fall in love with the kids because of all the time you spend with them, and all the energy you put into being a great step parent.

I read years ago that love equals happiness.  If you are loved by many, you will be happy.  If you are loved by many more, you will be much happier.  I was lucky enough to find not only a great wife, but also two amazing and loving children that make me the happiest husband and step parent in the entire universe.

Have a great day!