6 Ways to Help Children Cope with Divorce

children cope with divorce

During my divorce process my children seemed to be just fine. They adjusted, from what I could see.  But after my divorce was final, they came to me with issues they were having and I knew I had to help figure out ways to help my children cope with divorce. They became very emotional and were constantly throwing fits. None of this was normal. So I decided I needed to reached out, get creative, and help my children cope with divorce. They were having emotional battles, issues with a blended family and at times just needed to talk about their feelings. Here are six resources I used that helped me and my children cope with divorce

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1. Talk to the school counselor

Meeting with the School Counselor is a great way for the children to talk with someone who will help your children cope with divorce. My children would meet with their school counselor as often as they needed to. The children would talk to her about many different things. I kept in close contact with the school counselor and she gave me and the kids ways to help them cope with divorce. It was hard for the kids to reach out at first but once they gained her trust and knew she was there to help them, they ended up building a relationship with her that they will never forget.

2. Read Books

I found that there are many books out there that are helpful and have a lot of reassurance. Children cope with divorce differently. They have different issues when coping with divorce and having books can be a great resource. My children love the book “Divorce Is Not The End of The World”. We read this book and used it as a resource numerous times since my divorce. It helped my children cope with divorce and all of the issues that come with being in a divorced family. Books are also helpful because you can always go back to them when you have questions. There are many books that will walk you through all of the different situations your children will go through during and after divorce.

3. Writing in a Journal or Have your Child Write a Letter

A great activity that will help children cope with divorce is writing in a journal. Writing about your feelings and expressing them without being vocal is great therapy. They get to express their feelings without hurting anyone else’s feelings or being worried about anyone getting mad.  Writing in a journal is easy and can bring immediate relief. There are times children want to say things to parents (either one or both) but may have a hard time speaking directly to the parent. When children cope with divorce they may need one parent to help guide them on how to handle talking to the co parent. Give permission to you’re child to share their feelings with the other parent, and if the other parent does not respond have you’re child write them a letter.

4. Meet with a Child Psychologist

Some parents do not believe that their children should  see a psychologist or counselor. If you truly believe your child needs help coping with divorce and you cannot get the other parent to cooperate, I would suggest that you go see a counselor yourself to get professional feedback that you can then take back with you and help your children cope with divorce.  Listen to your children.  Take note of what they tell you.  Then bring that information with you to your appointment. This will allow you to help your children without arguing with the other parent about your child seeing a psychologist or counselor.

5. Talk with other Parents

A great resource for all parents is other parents. Ask other divorced parents how they handled situations that you may need help with. You may not realize this but most parents that are going through or have gone through a divorce are facing similar situations.  They may then talk to other divorced parents and provide you with even more useful information. Talking with other parents is a great way to get real solutions from other people and find additional ways to help children cope with divorce.

6. Join a Divorce Support Group

Becoming part of a divorce support group is a great way for you to get out and meet new people. Divorce support groups can help you find new ways that you would not have thought about that will help your children cope with divorce. These groups may also give you ways to help yourself cope with difficult situations. Divorce support groups are a great way for you to get out meet new people and help you and you’re children cope with divorce. You may be surprised and end up helping others as well.

I hope my solutions above help your children cope with divorce because I know how much they helped me when I was going through some difficult situations but I made sure I was there to help my children.







Co Parenting Tips from a Divorced Mother

co parenting tips

Co parenting can be difficult. I like to stress that you should look at co parenting as a “business relationship”. Here are some proven co parenting tips that not only work great, but will help you to have a successful co parenting relationship.

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      • Be flexible – Co Parenting Tips #1

        Being flexible is vital in a co parenting relationship. One example, is if a parent is running late on the drop off day/time.  Kids do not always cooperate. They may decide to go to the bathroom right as you are walking out the door. Kids may forget their favorite stuffed animal, homework or sports bags or pick a fight with a sibling.  Another example of being flexible is when there is a family function with the other parent. If the day ends up on your placement day, try to work with the other parent so the kids can be a part of the family function. Children should not be stopped from spending time with their extended family. Not being flexible can cause gratuitous animosity and put a wrench in any positive co parenting you have already established.

      • Keep open communication -Co Parenting Tips #2

        Another one of my co parenting tips is to keep the lines of communication open. Think about how your communication with the ex will affect the children. Keeping a calm, relaxed and even tone will help assure positive decisions will be made for your children. Co parenting should include sharing your child’s achievements that took place on your placement days. Inform your ex of any doctor appointments the kids had while in your care. Sharing positive performance, concerns and the needs of the kids can take away hostility you may feel towards each other and lighten the mood.  The kids will respect you more and maybe even learn some communication skills of thier own.

      • Do NOT talk badly about the other parent in front of the kids – Co Parenting Tips #3

        It is hard enough for the kids to be in the situation they are in. Do not make it harder by talking badly about their other parent.  The kids view both parents as “role models” and you do not want your kids to have negative thinking towards you for talking bad about the other parent. Talking bad about your ex in front of the kids will have negative lasting affects on your children.

      • Do NOT ask the kids to take sides – Co Parenting Tips #4

        Kids should never choose between you and the other parent. You may be asking the kids to choose sides with out even realizing it. Think before you speak in front of the kids. By saying anything negative about your ex, will make the kids feel like they have to take sides. They love you and the other parent, and do not need or deserve to be put in the middle.  Remember that your kids emotional needs are more important than yours.

      • ALWAYS keep a positive attitude – Co Parenting Tips #5

        Your children have been through a lot. They need their parents to have a positive attitude. This will give them increased self esteem, happiness, better health and motivation to get through the stresses of the divorce.  Remember your kids learn from you, if you always have a positive attitude, your kids will try doing the same.

These five co parenting tips have worked for me and I hope they work for you!