Navigating Divorce: How to Heal Yourself After a Marriage Separation
The rupture of a marriage can be an extremely traumatic event. Divorce is common in modern society, but this does not make it any easier to process emotionally. Our article reviews some of the ways that you can move forward after a separation.
Divorce is often compared to a battle because of the emotional toll it takes on all parties involved. Even beyond the emotional component, marriage binds every aspect of our lives – financial pressures, child-rearing, property ownership – to our spouse. Disentangling all this can be tricky.
Many people also struggle to move on romantically after they get a divorce. Certain dating sites may cater to your needs more than others, so it’s worth checking out a Dating Ranking site before you start. While divorce can be tough psychologically, our article examines ways to get through it and use your experience as a chance for personal growth.
Why Do Marriages Fail?
Every relationship is different and faces different struggles. For this reason, divorce definition is highly personal. However, if you look at divorce statistics, there are a few common reasons why couples separate:
- Lack of Communication
- Financial Problems
- Constant Conflicts
You may have experienced one or more of these issues yourself. If not, you probably know someone who has. When it comes to divorce, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. In fact, despite a recent dip, the divorce rate has remained consistently high in many Western countries since the 1960s.
How to Heal from Divorce in a Positive Way
Although it can be hard to recuperate, divorce presents us with a unique opportunity to reshape our lives. To heal and grow effectively, however, we must treat it as such. Divorce care therapists use several methods to get their patients through this difficult period.
- Allow Yourself to Grieve
The process of ending a marriage, from moving home to signing the divorce papers, can create a whirlwind of emotion. It’s easy to try and repress these feelings if you want to move on fast or if you’re living a busy life. However, leaving a marriage induces a kind of grief.
After all, you are leaving your old life behind. Try to give yourself time and space to feel this. Fully allowing yourself to grieve will help you feel that you are building something new on top of the old, rather than clinging to the past.
- Don’t Let Things Go Spiral
Try and avoid going into denial and allowing practical aspects of separation to overwhelm you. By this, we mean tasks like dealing with lawyers, reading through contracts, and managing practical separation chores. Pretending that divorce isn’t happening won’t make it easier; it’ll just cause the workload – and the emotional load – to spiral.
- Center Yourself in the Divorce Experience
Marriage and separation involve two people, but you should remember that you are embarking on a journey that centers on you- even if you did not want a divorce. While it’s natural to fixate on what went wrong, try not to give in to negativity. Instead, try to think about your marriage’s limitations and what you could do now that these are gone. Don’t focus on how your partner has, or is, behaving but on how you can grow from the experience.
- Accept Where You Are
During a separation, you may feel frustrated with yourself and what you perceive as your inability to move on. Remember that some degree of analysis and looking back is normal and necessary for understanding your situation. Don’t beat yourself up!
Instead, try to accept the emotional stage you are at on your journey to being divorced. Likewise, if you feel delighted to be free, you don’t have to feel guilty about this. Everybody heals in their own way, and you can take your time to figure out where you’re at.
- Make Plans and Focus Forward
While a marriage breakdown can feel like a tragedy, it is also a moment of opportunity if you let yourself see it this way. Part of this is your mindset: trying to focus on things in your life aside from marriage and making time to do things that make you feel happy and positive. However, another part is learning to plan for a better future. You will not bounce back straight away, and you may have to make a significant effort to see anything good in your situation. However, making practical plans for a time when you will feel better is a great way to renew your sense of purpose. You could think about moving home or dating after divorce.
Whether your divorce is volatile or amicable, it is undoubtedly a stressful period in life. Keeping your mind focused on the future and your own positive and productive behaviors can allow you to release some of this burden and reveal your true self. Embrace the change and let yourself grow – it could be the best thing you ever do!
About Author: Margaret Cole is an experienced sex therapist and a couple’s counselor. She encourages people to live consciously and realize the best sides of life, relationships, and sex. She could make a practical and positive difference in the lives of people regardless of their origin, status, or gender. Margaret believes we already have a true love from within and with a little time plus effort it can be easily met outside.